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C R I S P I N

I fight half-heartedly against her as she guides me very gently and without shoving or pushing at all away from my haystack and toward what I know is a cliff's edge—and knowing Ceres we'll likely be jumping without parachutes.   Not that I didn't always bring one for each of us, strapping them on and yanking our cords just before we make a mess of the world below.

"Waitwaitwaitwaitwait-" I don't bother trying to hide my smile as I speak, chuckling through my teeth, eyes crinkled at the corners as a childish delight kept me warm in the rain.  I spin with a little more excited force than I mean to, slipping in the mud and flailing for a moment before steadying myself with sigh of relief. 

"No breaking anything, I'm trying to return these," I snatch the keys back from her before she gets the chance to throw them at me.  And, yes, she'd proven the tactic worked like a charm many, many times. "Without getting fired, very important part."  It's something I'm not sure Ceres could ever understand, but I like it here.  There's mystery within the walls, adventure around every corner, a new story to obsess over every night as insomnia rattled my mind. 

"Maybe we'll even run into Marcus Rosewood," I whisper the statement to myself as I turn away from her, bouncing as happily as the raindrops in the puddles at my feet.

He's kind of- like, the coolest guy in the whole world , I'm pretty sure? My mom may or may not have a storybook written in crayon and addressed to the heir of the Rosewood estate from a very excited eight year old who drew stars over every 'i' in his name—please, please don't ask her to show it to you.

"Oh, and no theft either!"  I'd nearly forgotten.  Clearly wasn't feeling as guilty as I should be about becoming an outlaw.  I spin toward Ceres again, pulling my shirt over my nose and mouth before tracing the brim of my hat , pulling it low.

"Outlaws,"  I try as hard as I can to give her my best—'I'm serious.'—look before continuing. "But in name only."  I add a please at the end before giving her shove and sprinting toward the entrance to the staff block where our disguises lay freshly pressed, polished, and tucked away.

It's halfway there that I slow with single thought on my mind.

"Do know how to tie a tie?  The bow kind?"  I ask, uncertain about Ceres' talents and skills for the first time in years.  "Because I'm pretty sure they all wear ties..." I rub at the stubble on my chin, eyebrows knitting with worry—I've never worn anything fancier than a bandana before.

Maybe this was one of those a really bad ideas I should've let fizzle out.

"I'll look good in one, right?"

Guess we'll find out.

F E L I X

I tend to bite off more than I can chew, mouth full of bubblegum rotting my teeth and stiffening my jaw until my face freezes in a smile.  And I can't breathe, but damn does it sure taste sweet. And who doesn't enjoy an indulgence every once in awhile? Especially when his laughter felt like rock candy crackling on my tongue and his eyes glowed like candied gems.  What was the harm in just a small bite?

"Uhhh," I struggle to remember what we were talking about as my gaze catches on lips I swear he's inching slowly closer.  "Whatever."

I shake my head to rid it of cotton candy daydreams, but I'm still breathing in his air when I do it.  "Bet you're the favorite," I squint, coquettish grin upon my lips, playing off the awkwardness of the way I remove his hands from my shoulders.  I catch myself wondering if he planned on catching me when I pretended to fall or if the 'summer daydream' fragrance clinging to his skin was hiding something foul beneath.

Or maybe that was just me.

"Ever break the rules, stay out after curfew?" I eye him, tilting my head and raising a brow with each query. "Go to parties that cute boys named Felix invite you to? Just on a whim?"

Honestly. I'm fucking insatiable.

F E L I X

He yanks me toward him and I'm laughing,  but I've half a mind to punch him in the arm I latched onto to keep myself balanced.  He's steady—y'know, despite all my efforts to take him as far out of his comfort zone as possible.  I'm looking at him when I straighten myself out, like I'm actually seeing him for the first time—with the dimples and the smile and the heart of gold beating strong and steady upon his sleeve.  I can feel it struggling against my grasp.

It makes me laugh.  Or rather, the heat flaring in my cheeks and the lack of oxygen in my lungs was making me chuckle breathlessly.  Shit, what the fuck? I take a breath; I'd been holding it.

I straighten out, pulling my hand away from his bicep as I toss the curls on my head in my brother's direction.  "I've got eleven siblings," I start, shrugging off my jitters. "Including beefy and TERRIBLY BROODY AND UNSOCIABLE-" I pause and look at Niko to make sure he heard me. He cups his hands around his mouth and yells, "Fuck you!" from the other side of the training center. I wave because I know it annoys him.

"See what I have to work with every morning?" I shrug, careful to keep my hand locked around his wrist to keep untrained limbs steady.  "You'll have to do better than that," I stand on my tip toes to get as close to him as I can before dropping his hand, taking a few steps back, and flipping to the edge of the beam, smile still intact when I land with flourished hands.

He looked brilliantly out of place. Not a fish out of water, but a fish who'd been breathing air his entire life finally taking to water.

"Okay, ready?"

The joy just sorta rubs off.

C R I S P I N

Goosebumps rise across my shoulders as I wake from a nightmare with a startled gasp.  But the soft patter of a gentle rain against my window washes away the fear in an instant. I don't even remember what the nightmare had been about, only that it was finally raining and I was cold.  I make a mental note to start a fire for Mom before I leave.

I throw on an extra jacket before I leave, waiting a few extra seconds to watch my exhalation disappear into the sky and some droplets roll off the fingertips of my leather gloves.  It's a beautiful morning and I'm not ashamed to admit that my rubber boots splashed in each and every puddle on the way to the Rosewood estate.

Spotlights flashed on around the drilling rigs on the horizon as I made my usual rounds through the stables and walking the edges of the pastures.  I've moved onto laying down fresh bedding for the cattle when Ceres shows up—yes, naturally, by scaring the absolute shit out of me.

"Ceres."

I gasp, clutching at my chest as my heart races and rolling my eyes in anguish that I let her get me so good for the billionth time.  Then I grab a pitchfork off the wall, walk it over to her, force her hands to hold it, and nod, satisfied that if anyone peeked inside the barn they'd see a farmhand taking a moments rest after a hard days work.

And then I sigh, backing away to pick up my own pitchfork and continue picking apart the straw bale in front of me with a smile hidden beneath the brim of my hat.

"Please tell me you didn't vandalize anything on your way in here?"

The question was more of a joke at this point. I wouldn't be able to call myself her best friend if I didn't already know that she had.