close your eyes, count to ten }} blue
Mar 18, 2014 15:26:09 GMT -5
Post by semper on Mar 18, 2014 15:26:09 GMT -5
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Jean Kirschtein
peacekeeper. twenty-five.
hey brother, there's an endless road to rediscover
hey sister, know the water's sweet but blood is thicker
oh if the sky comes falling down for you
there's nothing in the world i wouldn't do
peacekeeper. twenty-five.
hey brother, there's an endless road to rediscover
hey sister, know the water's sweet but blood is thicker
oh if the sky comes falling down for you
there's nothing in the world i wouldn't do
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”You have kids?”
Just two. Two five year olds stuck in this unfortunate, shitty world. I want to shelter them from every bad thing out there because I know what it’s like to face most of it. It’s terrifying, it’s haunting, and I don’t want any of my nightmares to be the same ones that keep them up at night. That’s pretty much why I’ve never said a word to them about anything I do.
But those walls are crashing down now. I have no choice if I want to keep them safely under my wing.
I raise my hand and rub at my eyes. “Yes,” I say. “They just turned five. The twins, I mean.”
Absentmindedly I pull out the crumpled picture of them I keep in my pocket. It’s starting to fade but it still has their bubbly, chaotic personalities captured perfectly. I hold onto it for a moment then hand it over to him. It’s a piece of me that I’ve been reluctant to share for years due to the irrational fear that, if I ever ended up captured by rebels, they could use that as a leverage against me. (Although it’s a bit contradictory when I carry the picture of them around since anyone can get a hold of that, including enemies. Maybe I keep it on me at all times because I miss them.)
”Why can’t we call the police, Jean?”
I know that Marco doesn’t know but the question makes me laugh tiredly regardless. I let go of my jacket and put my head in my hands, covering up my eyes. The chuckles die quickly considering it’s really no laughing matter. Avoxes in the Capitol are viewed as nothing more than property and it’s disgusting. I was practically raised by Avoxes and spent my entire life with them; I’ll bet you everything that half of the people trapped in the avoxination center are people that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That, or in Nala’s case, they were caught simply trying to survive.
“Because they don’t treat Avoxes like real people.” Confessing to having an affair with an Avox, unless a designated sex toy, can very well be considered a mortal sin depending on which Capitolite you speak to. Any authoritative figure will have you jailed regardless, and I knew from the beginning that both of our lives would be in grave danger if anyone ever found out.
“The twins were an accident and we tried to hide everything as best we could.” Another sniff, tears starting to run down my cheeks. “Nala, their mother—I was the one who cut out her tongue. I was only about six and so was she; she ended up in our household so we grew up together.” My fingers curled and the nails dug into my forehead. “If I hadn’t been so—so fucking stupid, she wouldn’t be dead. I made her a target. What if they go for the twins next? Who the hell even found out? What did I do wrong?”
Just two. Two five year olds stuck in this unfortunate, shitty world. I want to shelter them from every bad thing out there because I know what it’s like to face most of it. It’s terrifying, it’s haunting, and I don’t want any of my nightmares to be the same ones that keep them up at night. That’s pretty much why I’ve never said a word to them about anything I do.
But those walls are crashing down now. I have no choice if I want to keep them safely under my wing.
I raise my hand and rub at my eyes. “Yes,” I say. “They just turned five. The twins, I mean.”
Absentmindedly I pull out the crumpled picture of them I keep in my pocket. It’s starting to fade but it still has their bubbly, chaotic personalities captured perfectly. I hold onto it for a moment then hand it over to him. It’s a piece of me that I’ve been reluctant to share for years due to the irrational fear that, if I ever ended up captured by rebels, they could use that as a leverage against me. (Although it’s a bit contradictory when I carry the picture of them around since anyone can get a hold of that, including enemies. Maybe I keep it on me at all times because I miss them.)
”Why can’t we call the police, Jean?”
I know that Marco doesn’t know but the question makes me laugh tiredly regardless. I let go of my jacket and put my head in my hands, covering up my eyes. The chuckles die quickly considering it’s really no laughing matter. Avoxes in the Capitol are viewed as nothing more than property and it’s disgusting. I was practically raised by Avoxes and spent my entire life with them; I’ll bet you everything that half of the people trapped in the avoxination center are people that just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time. That, or in Nala’s case, they were caught simply trying to survive.
“Because they don’t treat Avoxes like real people.” Confessing to having an affair with an Avox, unless a designated sex toy, can very well be considered a mortal sin depending on which Capitolite you speak to. Any authoritative figure will have you jailed regardless, and I knew from the beginning that both of our lives would be in grave danger if anyone ever found out.
“The twins were an accident and we tried to hide everything as best we could.” Another sniff, tears starting to run down my cheeks. “Nala, their mother—I was the one who cut out her tongue. I was only about six and so was she; she ended up in our household so we grew up together.” My fingers curled and the nails dug into my forehead. “If I hadn’t been so—so fucking stupid, she wouldn’t be dead. I made her a target. What if they go for the twins next? Who the hell even found out? What did I do wrong?”
table by anzie <3