chins up smiles on | Virga & Marik
Jan 27, 2024 22:44:29 GMT -5
Post by Cato on Jan 27, 2024 22:44:29 GMT -5
Not quite sure what to make of the setup, but this person seems eager to interview me. Never heard of a podcast though, so I'm definitely interested trying to figure out what exactly is going on. I look at both microphones and nod my head as he mentions what I need to do, and I don't know what I need to do when it comes to just talking. I'm good at being quiet, and I don't have anything to talk about. He'll have to pry it out of me. I look at my team hoping they'll help me out in some way, yet they just nudge me forward and tell me to just do this. I don't even have note cards this time, and I'm absolutely terrified I'll mess something up. I grudgingly move forward into the room, and I sit down beside the microphone, and I feel myself starting to clam up completely.
My heart is racing, and I can feel beads of sweat starting to form and drip down my forehead. I struggle to sit still, and I know that I'm going to mess up when I first start to speak. It makes me concerned for doing this, yet I have to keep trying to make it all look like I'm okay, but I'm not okay. I mean, I just survived the hunger games. I just made it out of that mess alive. What could they possibly want to hear from me? I'm not sharing those dark painful memories with anyone. Why? Why retraumatize myself? It's not worth it. "So is this going to be like a free form?" I realize this question has already been answered, and I've probably made myself look like an idiot. "Like I don't understand how this will work."
I sigh and look at the ground. "What should I do? What should I even talk about?" I feel myself starting to become a bit more frustrated, and it isn't his fault, but my team decided it's best that I do this, and I hate them for it. I don't even have any say in my own life anymore. I'm told what to wear. I can't wait to get back home and dress how I want to dress. "I'll be honest, I'm not going to just be able to speak about anything and everything. I'm going to need some sort of guidance." Hopefully he understands, and hopefully he gives me a chance as I raise my head and look around. Maybe it won't be so bad. Maybe it'll all work out. Maybe everything will be okay. "But I'm ready whenever you are." I guess. I don't know anymore. Have to try though.