deep breath in [marina oneshot]

come on,

come on

Walking home from the Justice Building, the only feeling present in her heart was pain. Marina loved her sister, despite the arguments and jealously they've shared over the years. She cared about her, and no matter how she felt before the reaping— all that jealousy and frustration over Nixie still having a chance to go into the Games if she wanted to— Nixie going into the Games without a choice just didn't feel the same. She probably would've been angry at her or at least a little bit jealous of her if she had volunteered, but this was just so different.

It was scary, because Nixie didn't want it. It was scary, because Nixie didn't want it. It was scary, because of the fact that Nixie said she wasn't scared. It was scary because of what Nixie's fate could become, and what it probably would become if she didn't have luck and skill both on her side.

Marina and Nixie had trained together in preparation for the Hunger Games for a while now— at least for a few years since Nixie gained an interest in doing so. So sure, Nixie was at least somewhat prepared, but who knew how long the other careers had been training for? Who knew how much skill and experience they were bringing into the arena with them in comparison to Nixie?

The thought of it all really terrified Marina. Was she even allowed to be scared of what was to come if Nixie claimed not to be scared at all? Surely someone had to be scared for her, and apparently that was going to be Marina. When Marina got home, she went inside, gave one distraught look to her parents and went upstairs to her bedroom. What was she meant to do? Was there anything she could even do anymore without thinking of Nixie?

Every day, even though she was too old for the reaping and the Hunger Games, she trained with Nixie. Now, there was no point in training anymore. She loved to draw, and would usually draw things for Nixie. Now, there was no reason to make anymore drawings without Nixie around to give them to. She loved to read, but she and her sister were always reading the same books as one another so that they had something fun to talk about with each other whenever they finished the same chapters.

It wasn't until now that Marina really realized how much of her life revolved around doing things with her sister, no matter how much they argued with each other pretty much every single day. Nixie meant a lot to her, and now there was this chance that they would never see each other again.

It was quite possible that the next time they were in the same room together would be at Nixie's funeral, and Marina wasn't prepared for that. The thought was petrifying. It chilled her blood and made her body shake.

She lied there on her bed, face buried in her pillow, tears streaming down onto both it and her cheeks. She wished she could've changed something about today. Why couldn't this have happened five years ago when Marina could've just volunteered in Nixie's place? It just wasn't fair.

How could this be reality? There was nothing Marina could do to fight for it to change. There was nothing she could do to bring Nixie back home safe. Nixie would have to do that herself. Marina just wanted to help, but she couldn't.

There was nothing she could do.

Nothing.

So, she got up from her bed and paced back and forth for a moment, fists and jaw clenched in frustration and despair. Then, she approached one of the pale blue walls in her bedroom and drove her fist through it.

[621 words]

put your hands

into the fire