fight of the ages.— [freya/victor]
Oct 1, 2021 3:21:23 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Oct 1, 2021 3:21:23 GMT -5
The man who seemed to be examining the trainers was almost impossible to ignore, though I was trying my hardest to. Frankly, he seemed like an asshole. He looked familiar, but all wealthy, white old men look about the same. And they all have the same inflated egos, you could tell by the way this man carried himself he had an ego. But, I didn't feel like going out of my way to knock him down a peg. If one of the other trainers wanted to, I wouldn't stop them.
Right now I was focused on my kids, two twelve year olds who were new to being careers. They were getting a feel for different combat stations right now. It made me realise how long it had been since I was in their shoes, a long thirteen years. It seemed like just yesterday I stepped foot in here for the first time. Though, this morning I found a gray hair, reminding me of my age.
They were brother and sister, and archery wasn't their strong suit - not yet at least. It all just takes practice. The environment for careers is toxic. It's an environment of perfectionism, one that makes people look at every part of themselves for something to hate. Humans are flawed, we always will be. And thus, careers always find something to hate about themselves, something to make them feel worthless. And that sticks with you, even once your name leaves those glass bowls. I doubt that type of hate ever leaves. But, it doesn't have to be that way.
The brother was frustrated at himself, he hadn't hit the target a single time the entire ten minutes we've been over here. It honestly hurt to watch him beat up on himself more than I ever could, more than any of the trainers in this building could. Maybe some trainers liked that style of teaching. The humiliation and degradation. You get them mad so they're determined to prove you wrong. But I can't help but wonder about the psychological damage that might do, what damage that has done to me over the years. Instead, I try a more compassionate route.
"Hey it's alright, you didn't hit the target, but you hit the very edge of it. You just need to aim a little more to the left and keep practicing, it won't be perfect right away."
That seemed to soothe him, until some asshole decided to comment on my teaching style. I didn't know who this guy was or what he wanted, but he wasn't welcome here. These were children just starting to learn, it would be unreasonable to expect perfection right away. But he was part of the older generation, the same one my parents were from. The part that seemed to correlate abuse with successful careers. Yet, the abuse has continued for many careers and we've still lost year after year - figure that one out.
"You're too soft with them."
That's when I grabbed the bows from the kids and told them to take a break from archery for now, to find something else to do. Luckily, they left before he started spewing more shit out of his mouth. I tried to ignore him as he continued and I put the bows away, I'd collect the arrows in a moment. For now, I needed to deal with this man.
"They don't respect you. Hell, no wonder we can't seem to produce decent careers. Trainers like you are to blame."
Of course, I was being blamed again. We were just so damn easily to blame. Not once had I met Love Bellisario, sure I'd seen him train, but I never even waved at him. And sure enough, people blamed me for him losing because he had trained here before. No matter what we did, we were to blame. No matter how tough or gentle, no matter how angry or kind, no matter how we trained it was all our fault. None of these people could understand that their perfect kids could ever possibly die.
"You really do have some nerve coming over and telling me how to do my job, you know that? They respect me just fine, fear is the word you're looking for. Fear and respect aren't the same thing, they never have been. Now, are we done here or are we going to have a problem?"
I had just met this guy and he was already on my nerves. Suddenly, I was relieved I didn't have time to date, I forgot how men were. And I'd have more than one gray hair if I had to deal with men like this more often.
[ 770 words ]