get your knuckles bloody for me | {team titans leisure}

umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]
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get your knuckles bloody for me | {team titans leisure} Nov 6, 2021 23:20:45 GMT -5

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Post by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars] on Nov 6, 2021 23:20:45 GMT -5

Pulsar- a thrum of a heart thrum thrum thrum thrum thrumming along to the beats of a cacophonous crater and she was...

There.

She-

She remembered who she was. She remembered. She remembered Gavin's desperation as he tried to save her and she felt the warmth of him next to her as she faded in and out of consciousness- surprise surprise, she was the weak link all along. She remembered Cecily's valiant attempts of saving everyone's dignity. Pity she'd lost hers somewhere along the second or third gunshot. She remembered Sasha doing the worst- becoming the worst. For her. For Aneesa. For a second, for a night. Delaying the inevitable. Aneesa felt such shame for doubting her, for making such harsh judgements. She'd been wrong. Sasha was the one thing. She reached out for her in the haze- somehow reaching over Gavin and Cecily, who'd been tag-teaming carrying the bulk of Aneesa's weight. She was so weak. She was so weak. She was so weak. She-

She was there. Not here. Not her. She lived an entire eternity out in her head where she was strong enough to be okay with what just happened and in that eternity, she and Gavin and Sasha followed Cecily out of this hellhole and it turned out District 13 really did exist and they got to live their lives, long and happy, and they'd even save their loved ones and they'd all just be a huge, happy family together and things would be okay. Not now, not soon, but someday. Someday.

She blinked blankly at the shadows of a person she knew she loved. Mom?

Mom?

Her features perked and lessened in age and the eyes grew just a hint darker and the lips a bit thinner and- Cecily. She cried. She wept. She slept. She did not dream, it was a black sleep. A quiet one. A sad and horribly, horribly lonesome one.

When she woke, she saw herself below, missed what it was like to be okay, and, quite terrifyingly, snapped with the realization that nothing would ever, ever be okay again.

Last Edit: Nov 6, 2021 23:24:12 GMT -5 by umber vivuus 12b 🥀 [dars]

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

maverick hale 🌧️ d5 [nyte]
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oof

get your knuckles bloody for me | {team titans leisure} Nov 6, 2021 23:31:18 GMT -5

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Post by maverick hale 🌧️ d5 [nyte] on Nov 6, 2021 23:31:18 GMT -5

He sits with the pain. It sinks into him, sharp tendrils of this unknowable agony. He thinks about how he should be dead and he wonders if he wishes he was. He looks at the gun sat in his lap, he cleans out the ash coating the barrel and feels - numb. Gavin hasn't killed anything. Because of course he hasn't, because he isn't anywhere near strong enough.

Gavin bleeds out and then he breathes again. There's holes in his skin, burn marks from where enemies carved memories into the fragile parts of him. He's tired and cowardly and he doesn't know what to do anymore. They make you watch this shit. Growing up you look at the intimate way that blood catches on blades. You learn that kids from five don't garner sponsorship because they're often feeble and bookish.

You learn that, even if people think you are strong, a waifish blond girl from seven can stab you through the throat and kill you anyway.

"We did good." He mumbles what he has to believe, he looks at Aneesa and squeezes her hand, "I'm so happy you're still here."

Last Edit: Nov 6, 2021 23:34:27 GMT -5 by maverick hale 🌧️ d5 [nyte]

the m o o n controls the t i d e, it could cause you to d r o w n

eulalie blake 1a 🍒 tris
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get your knuckles bloody for me | {team titans leisure} Nov 7, 2021 0:45:50 GMT -5

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Post by eulalie blake 1a 🍒 tris on Nov 7, 2021 0:45:50 GMT -5

As if on schedule, the fight comes to a close. Something about that unnerves Cecily deeply, hands shaking by her sides and a sheen of tears present in her eyes. Sasha has done something terrible — something that she'll have to live with for the rest of her life. If Atlas struggled to shoulder the world, then surely anyone could.

Cecily would.

And then she considers that maybe the rest of Sasha's life might only be days, or even hours, and that's enough to send her stumbling away to the side, processing through her grief in a state of muted agony. Watching a girl die for nothing had been one thing, but trying to cope with the inevitable deaths of her friends makes her spiral. Gavin tries his best to help Aneesa, unconscious in his arms, but Cecily hones down on the helplessness.

Minutes later, she lifts her head up from her knees, rubbing at her swollen eyes and staring blearily at the sky. She's desperate to see some fault in the system. Something to manipulate to her advantage. Some small sign of hope. The clouds are thick, and it's not dark enough to see the stars yet. Rising to her feet, spear in hand, she jogs over to her alliance.

"I'm sorry. I needed a minute." It's not a worthy excuse, but she kneels by Gavin's side and tries to get him to take a breather. "If you ever needed a reason to be selfish, Gav, a bullet hole's a pretty valid excuse." She doesn't mean to sound like so much of a nag, but just looking at him has her flashing back to the way he had stared up at her, begging her to help him help them.

She doesn't know how. She doesn't know how, and it's overwhelming. The clever girl has met her match, and now she can't find her way out of the cage.

"Please," she says more softly, placing a hand on Gavin's shoulder and smiling kindly. "If you take care of yourself, then I'll take care of me. Don't you know I'm obsessed with you?" Her grin takes on a mischievous edge, punching her fist gently where her palm had been resting. "If you keep playing the hero, I'm just gonna copy you. Woes of a trendsetter."

And she laughs at that — until she starts crying again, an aftershock of her anxiety attack, throwing up her hands to wipe away the proof of her breakdown. Leave no evidence, try to get away with it. But it's hopeless, really, there's nothing about Cecily that is dishonest. All she knows how to do is tell the truth. When she makes a promise, she means it. More than that, she makes an effort to always follow through on her word.

If she's going to save them, she's going to save them.

There is no other possibility that she can fathom.

Aneesa jars awake, gaze meeting Cecily's at first warmly, and then in wide terror. When the girl from Nine starts to sob, all she can think to do is allow Gavin to step in, seconds after telling him to focus on himself. She's thinking about seconds again. There's a ticking in her mind, and a pressure against her chest, and she feels like a bomb detonating. And maybe that's what it will take to escape. Maybe that's the key.

"I'm sorry. Let me get a medkit, I've got you." Back on her feet, she marches over to where Sasha's standing, locking eyes a little awkwardly before she starts to rummage through her bag. "If you need anything, I'm here. Or I will be. Aneesa's, um, not holding up too well." The screaming echoes in her ears, and she swallows hard. Urges her fears to go away. To leave.

She'd like to follow them.

"But, yeah, I appreciate what you did. Thank you."

( more in maint. )

all my girls got their lace and their crimes.

gamemaker tallis 🧚🏽‍♂️kaitlin.
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aspiring beam of light

get your knuckles bloody for me | {team titans leisure} Nov 8, 2021 17:34:58 GMT -5

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Post by gamemaker tallis 🧚🏽‍♂️kaitlin. on Nov 8, 2021 17:34:58 GMT -5

Ginny Lawson crumbles and Sasha nearly goes with her.

She spits something unkind at the tiny one from Eleven, Luya, and she doesn't really know why. She sees her reaction, the gut-wrenching anger and pain that stabs the little girl in the stomach when Needles dies. It's not the first time that Sasha has said something that she knows would bring tears to a person's eyes, and she's sure that it probably won't be the last.

But that doesn't mean she didn't know what she was doing.

She doesn't even remember what she said after the fact, just knows that she had no right, no reason. Her friends were all alive, running, running, running. Their Jeep has a hole through its windshield where Aneesa sent a flaming javelin barreling towards it. They're lucky the whole thing didn't blow with them inside.

A part of Sasha wishes it had.

She wishes Ginny's blood wasn't on her hands.

She fixates on them for a long time after that. When they're by themselves again, Gavin wrapped around Aneesa like Sasha knows that she needs him to be, Cecily hiding from the awful noises coming out of the radio, Sasha lets all of them tend to each other. They wrap bandages around their wounds, staunch the bleeding where bullets cut ugly holes in Gavin.

"That needs to be tighter," she says about the bandages they wrap around Aneesa's leg. "Or they're going to fall right off."

Maybe in someone else's mouth it would be kindness. It would be her helping. Maybe.

But Sasha knows she's graceless.

She walks away after that.

She sits very quietly most of the night. Aneesa is hollow-eyed and starving, and Sasha sees Maisy all over her. She hates that she keeps doing it, too, feels something clog up her throat every time that she makes the connection in her head. It's like watching a twisted up mirror image of Maisy, and that feels like watching a twisted up mirror image of Sasha, and Sasha has no idea what to do with that so she just—hollows herself.

Cecily comes and tries to be kind, and Sasha can't bring herself to meet her in the middle.

"I didn't do it for you," she says, even though it's not really true. In some ways, certainly, she killed Ginny because Ginny was going to kill her friends. Her friends. She laid her weapon on Aneesa, and Sasha saw red, became it, let herself drown in it. She grits her teeth, clenches her jaw, looks away from Cecily and back to where Aneesa is her own hollow version of herself. "Go take care of the person who needs you." She swallows. "I don't."

Please, she begs somewhere inside. Don't walk away.

But she knows Cecily will.

Sasha told her to.

what are men to rocks and mountains?

a haunted house.