emotions failing.— [adrian/adaline]

I actually showed up for training for once.

I used to show up more often. It helped that my dad was a trainer too. But, recently I just hadn't felt up to it. Until this year the last time I missed school was Mom dying. I just needed a break from life, from school, everything. And now I was trying it again. And now that I was here I realised something.

Even if you want to take a break, life just moves on without you.

And I thought of that as soon as I saw Adaline. She was my age, or maybe a bit younger I wasn't positive. But she was related to Anarchy Mer. The guy from Four who died in the Bloodbath. Seeing her made me go back to my mom dying. How helpless everything felt, her being fine one moment and ripped away from me the next. Yet I had one luxury she didn't. I was able to mourn in private.

She would never be able to process anything privately with who her family was. I tried to focus on hitting the training dummy in front of me with a sword, but my mind kept going towards her. She seemed fine, but I know how easy it can be to pretend you're fine while the world falls apart around you. I talked with her a few times over the years, and at least we were on a first name basis.

Part of the pros of being a floater.

I know everyone a little bit. I may not be close to very many people, but I can at least talk to anyone. Out of the careers, the only one I'd consider myself good friends with was Zedekiah and that didn't exactly win me popularity points. Of course I had non-career people who I was close with - or at least once close with - Frost and Killua. But I could use that to my advantage. I wasn't known to be a gossip like some of the kids a bit higher up on the social foodchain and I was generally non-threatening. But, I wasn't so low on the chain she wouldn't be caught dead talking to me. So with sword in hand, I went over.

"Hey, Adaline. I think we've talked a few times before... How are you doing with everything going on?"

I spoke casually but lowered my voice a bit. Talking about emotions wasn't something careers did, it just wasn't in our programming. Neither of us wanted to draw attention to the conversation we were having. And I figured if I kept things more casual, more low-key she might actually talk to me about stuff. After all, I managed to get Zedekiah to open up to me. Why should Adaline be any different?