Feeling Empty [Kaplan]

Not bringing home a victor is becoming easier as each year passes, but it still hurts especially when I see them getting so close to the end. It's hard not to have hope once someone makes it to the final eight, yet I keep the hope to a minimum because it's easier, and the pain just stays at bay. It's only hard when the victor comes through the tour, and I have to look the families in the eye again and try to apologize for failing. At the same time, I always feel for the newest victor since this is their time, the time they spend in the spotlight, and they can't leave the spotlight. Cameras are all around, and even once a new victor is crowned, the cameras keep following. They keep trying to press into each family to learn more about them. I like to try to give people a chance to get away from them. Maybe I can do the same for Nixie even if we don't ever really talk.

I ride my horse this year. I got it from the county fair, and now I just take him everywhere. I look both ways, and while I'm not entirely sure where I'll take Nixie, I'm sure she'll appreciate the time away. She didn't kill anyone I cared for, and maybe I'd still do this if she did. I don't know. But right now I want to help her escape. I follow behind the crowd, and I get off my horse and walk over towards the newest victor as soon as I get a chance in my path is clear. I'm almost certain the peacekeepers will try to stop me, but I am a victor, and sometimes they aren't as opposed to keeping us away from visiting the newest one, but I'll have to wait and see. Once I get close enough, I climb off the horse, and I walk over towards her, and I whisper hoping only she can hear while she has a chance; "I can get you away from here for a bit if you'd like."