Tomoki Masato D10 [Refurbish Fin]

The cattle are his only friends.

It's not like he hasn't tried. Tomoki has tried enough times to make any person give up, but he wasn't just a quitter. After all the grief he's gone through, he couldn't give up on something as simple as friendship. You lose a brother and a father to a long term illness; it tends to push him to his limits. The hope of wanting to keep fighting for their health to finally get better, but it never did. He never gave up on them. They never gave up on him. Tomoki couldn't be a quitter after that. He promised his brother he would make some new friends after he took his last breath.

A sigh from his lips as he leans against the wooden fencing keeping his cattle friends inside. Gertrude and Portia gnawing on the grass behind him as he starts flailing his arms in time with his own words. "I don't get it! Other kids can just walk up and start talking, but when I do it, it's all 'Tom, you talk to cattle for fun.' or 'Tom, you're weird. leave me alone please.' Like what do they know!" Portia only barely gives him a glance, but he can tell she's listening. She always does. Gertrude on the other hand couldn't care less. Food was more important than the drama of his own life.

"Like, sure, I'm just a guy who's never had friends and is too emotional and easy to frustrate, but I can be cool. I can be fun. No one ever gives me a chance though. Like Portia, there was a cute boy and I totally was being cool, chill, collected, but as soon as I spoke up it's like I didn't even exist." A deep breath before he continues rambling. "Can't I just get one victory? One success?" A heavy sigh falls from his lips as his head falls into his arms. His eyes following the shadows of the sun against Portia and Gertrude's backs until he realizes he's late.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Gotta go, girls! I'll feed you again later. Watch out for old Troy; he's looking to sell some more meat again and I can't go through another breakdown after what happened to Julie last week." The memory of his cow friend being sent to the slaughterhouse flashing in his mind once more. The tears slipping past his eyes knowing he's lost another friend. Someone who truly cared for him. The same feeling of loss that he felt after his father and brother died from their sickness. The feeling of being left alone with no one else once more before he crashes once again. A deep emptiness that fills to the brim with emotions; an outburst mellowing into a hollowness.

Every tear is a story and every story is filled with tears for him, but he's determined to change that. Sure, he's cried over roadkill and the accidental smashing of bugs, but they're living things too and no one gets it. Sometimes, even he doesn't get it. All he can do is try and try and try. His eyes scan the road before setting out, moving from one side to the other before coming to the shack that's considered their home. His mother and himself were ranch hands for old Troy who's alone on the ranch. They've been there for years helping out the man to make a living. A silence fills him as he opens the door loudly, his own voice shouting out into the home.

"Ma! I'm home!"

A rushing sound of metal kitchen utensils and a greeting shouted back fills him with a warmth. A warmth of home. A reminder that he's always going to be safe there. A smile on his lips before he heads up the stairs. A warm shower is what he needed after all the hard work he's done. Even if it's just listening to Gertrude and Portia fight over who gets the last piece of grass in the field. After the quick shower, he steps down the stairs to find his mother with dinner already displayed out. Old Troy had found his way into their home, despite his own dislike of the strange old man coming by. What? Can you blame him? The old man smelt of cowpies and scraps.

After an uneventful dinner talking about the farm and how much work they've gotten done, he's off to bed. Gertrude and Portia out in the field within his view, a laugh on his lips as he yells out the window to the cattle. "Goodnight girls!" A resounding moo comes to the air before it's silent.

Morning comes and goes with a speed that's unreal. Most of it, he spends preparing for school and finishing up his morning chores on the ranch. Gertrude and Portia are happy to see him before he's off to class. A walk that feels like forever in the early sun was supposed to be good for him, but he hated the heat. Eventually, he makes it to class. Only to see the cutest boy he's ever seen on the way to their own class. Panic sets in as he notices their paths will cross. A mental freak out starts to happen before he takes a deep breath.

He could do this.

He could do this.

...

He can't do this.

It happens too quickly. His shoe is untied; the lace catches the bottom of his shoe before he starts falling forward. Face first in the cute boy's books, knocking them everywhere. A solid thud as they both hit the ground and all Tomoki can do is look up with a smile and nerves that seem to build and build and build around his throat. Words barely coming out. "U-U-U-U-Uhhhhhh H-H-H-Hi." The cute boy looks at him for a moment before rushing around him to get his stuff. The books and items picked up before he grimaces at Tomoki. A silence before a quick muttered words sent at him.

"I'm sorry! I gotta go."

Dumb. He was so dumb for even thinking he could be cool.

Oh well, it's just another day of being Tomoki Masato.

What's the worst that could happen?