cypress | capitol | CBD3 | FIN

blood roses in the window
they dont smell like they used too
they were sent to me at my wedding
a sham and a shame all rolled into one.

i dont know why i did it to be honest.
maybe i thought i would get some sort
of life experience out of it.  or maybe i
would at least earn the respect of my father.  

i still dont even know if i love the idea
of what we have.  i longed for so much
more in my life.  to be shot into space
exploding into limitlessness and earning
exactly what i should have been owned.

i was of his blood, but even the blood
roses withered away.  nothing is forever
and to be quite honest, i would have pissed
on my fathers grave.  he left me nothing but
guilt and empty promises, dump on my lap
like lava erupting from the seams of his eyes
as his picture stared straight through me.

tulip still, to this day has say nothing good to
me.  maybe that is on me though.  i float through
space passing comets and galaxies and always wonder
what it would be like to fall.  she would never know what
it was like because she rose from her own blood stained 
ashes and received every silver spoon laid out for her
pretty little petals to extend and invigorate and prosper.

i do not know what i did to deserve the feeling 
of weightlessness and uncertainty.

but i wish i knew what it was like to fall.