questionable spontaneity // skyler + avriel

Your shoulder still burns.

A year on, and the pain is still there, the twisted hole in your skin aching from where the tip of Aspen's spear made its mark. It wakes you in the night and you sit up in bed to watch the sunrise. Or maybe that's just the summer heat, already setting in despite the early hour. Whatever it is, you're up, head resting against and legs pushed through the rungs off the juliet balcony attached to your bedroom window.

And the sun rises and the world starts again so you do as well.

But it's more difficult post 89th. The heavy feeling is back, the dark, as you've coined it. It waits in the corners, in the shadows, on your back when you're not looking, heavy. So you haven't tried swimming again, it'll just weigh you down.

Coffee's on when you get downstairs and there's Scout, sitting beside the brewing pot, kicking its little legs. The Kodama's better at your schedule than you are now. Private school has already started for the year so Billie and Duke are gone and it's just the two of you but you're bad at alone.

You rearrange the books on the shelf in the living room so that they're colour coded and then lay on the couch, watching the sun travel across the wooden flooring.

- BAM -

Knock at the door.

- BAM -

Again.

- BAM -

And again. (makes you think of Lafayette.)

- BAM -

Okay, you get up and cross over to the front door and unlock the dead bolt. Then you swing the door open and you're staring at a vaguely familiar face.

"Skyler?" You say after a moment. It's your old friend from school but you haven't seen them since your parents disappeared and you dropped out.

Sky was the kid your teachers grouped you with all through elementary school because when you refused to cooperate he'd nudge you back into shape. You remember once, maybe grade three, this kid stole Skyler's pencil case at recess and was being a fucking asshole so you loosened all the screws on his classroom chair.

When you got back from lunch he went to sit and it was fucking hilarious, everyone laughed and he cried because he was so embarrassed. You got detention for your troubles and a stern talking to later that night from your father but since then you'd eat lunch with Sky.

And when your parents died, and he put a hand on your shoulder and told you that they'd turn up, you realized you couldn't look him in the eye anymore.

Now he's on your front step, and you're in the doorway and the world is a lot different. Except he still makes that uncomfortable look he gets when he's nervous.

"Yeah," you say numbly. This should feel good right? Seeing your childhood friend again.

Just feels weird, like seeing a ghost.

"Why did you come here?" you ask. Then you realize how that sounds. It's not like you're upset about seeing him. You step aside and gesture into the hallway, "Come in."

Your thoughts races, flicking through the flashcards in your head, looking for the one that says 'guests'. There's a protocol right? What are you supposed to do again? It's hard to remember. It's been a long time since you've had someone over. As a rule the three of you tend to keep to yourselves because you're happy as a small unit.

Since your Imo Theo disappeared it's truly been just you, Duke and Billie against the world and you've never needed anyone else.

"It's good to see you," you tell Skyler, always a little bit guarded. As he slips his shoes off and peaks around though, you realize that yeah, you missed him too.

Scout makes this little chirping sound from the kitchen, the Kodama's always been too comfortable with strangers, but you lead Skyler into the kitchen to meet him anyway. You both used to do your homework together at the kitchen table in your old place. Your mom would make you tea. "Coffee?" you ask.

There's leftover coffee in the pot from the morning so you cross to the sink and dump it out.

"That's Scout," you tell Skyler. The Kodama is inspecting your old friend, glowing brilliantly and making these happy little chirps. It's so rare for it to meet someone new these days. "He's friendly, don't worry."

It's been a very long time since you've been around someone so well-adjusted. For a moment, you feel shaky, too different. You fill the coffee maker with water as Skyler greets Scout and you wonder when you stopped being a normal teenage boy.

Well, stupid question.

Scout obviously takes a liking to Skyler immediately and starts tugging hard on his pant leg. "It wants you to pick it up," you inform your friend, in case it wasn't obvious. "Probably so it can get on your shoulder." Scout's always liked a higher vantage point.

You set the coffee maker to make enough for the both of you and then lean against the counter, arms crossed. It still feels weird that Skyler is here. That part of your life feels like such a long time ago now. You've had to do things you weren't proud of, that you'd be too ashamed to tell Skyler just to feed your siblings.

It puts a barrier between you.

"Why'd it take you so long to come find me?" you ask him. You won a full year and some change ago. Maybe you just feel bad because it didn't occur to you to seek him out first.