Follow the Rules: Use Protection {Rules v. Condoms} Day 2

I wrote a poem, because poems are a sign of love. I think.

I love you
I would moo
I am not a cow
You said wow

I think it's great, really.

What? I'm a condom. Maybe I should stick to making love.

I’m in some fairy land. I wonder if the fairies that I hear about are here. There are a lot of rainbows.

Leslie Jordan, is that you?

[attacks da rules, knife]
O2juSXDyOUknife
[ 8.0 dg ]

I’m being attacked by the RULES of all things.

The RULES!

I don’t even know a rule. I just sit, hanging on a thumb tack board waiting to be useful. I don’t ever become useful.

And what’s a bottom? I’ve heard those types of things are scary.. They’re horrendous. Want to know what’s even worse?

Twinks.

[attacks da rules, knife]
l|B1PX_|xXknife
[do books have calves? 8.5]

"NOT GIR YOU PROTECTIVE LATEX! HONEY YOUVE GOT A BIG STORM COMING!

The audacity of this bitch.

I’m the one out here busting my ass. I am protection in myself.

”There’s only room for one protective bitch here.”

Okay, maybe I am the smaller sized condom. It’s not the size, it’s how it’s used!

”And it’s not me.”

[attacks da rules, kitchen knife]
i_CB0e28bUknife
[sc 3.5]

Suddenly, poof, there’s a crown on my head! Personally, I think it fits really well. It makes me feel unique, pretty, even. It makes me feel like those scented condoms at the gas station that think they’re so much better. I ain’t ever see a college student whip out a chocolate scented condom.

"C'mon rubber boy, let's get Hawt"

And then the book breaks the condom. God damn it. Does this bitch know anything about protection?

”You just broke the first rule of sex!”

A broken condom is a broken man.

[attacks da rules, kitchen knife]
4GM7eY_4Qcknife
[sc 3.5]

"A broke condom is in Da Rules honey! C'mere and get inbetween my pages. OH YASSSSS"

Oh no, oh no.

Nonononononono.

This is all wrong this is all WRONG!

I can’t do this. This is against my contract. It’s against the code of CUNT. What, you haven’t heard of it? The code of CUNT stands for: Condoms, U Need Them.

”No, no no!” A shrill scream erupts from my thin, rubber walls.”This is all so wrong, this is horrible…”

I can’t give the clinic more patients… I can’t…

[attacks da rules, kitchen knife]
1E|574i3gtknife
[dg 8.0]

"C'mon I know you want between this spine baby. C'mere Rubber Boy. I'll give you the time of your life, honey."

The pages spread as if they were butter. I can only imagine the amount of times someone has licked their finger to sift through those pages. Can you imagine, the bacteria?

Ugh, gives me shivers.

There seems to be a lump in one side of the book. A page fumbles, a furry leg slips out. Dear heavens, what is that?

”May the power of christ compel you!”

[attacks da rules, knife]
5wi8BXwgCNknife
[3.5]