cryowake :: [closed]

username: tris
character wanted: pilot b1
character name/age/fc: eileen langston “gloria” (x) / 21 / lily collins
ideas for character:

( cancer sun. gemini moon. leo rising. )

there's a soundtrack playing in her mind. (x) a new song for each new moment. the good, the bad,

all the blackouts in-between. (x)

elliot liked to call her theatric. "if only i could make a living out of that," eileen would respond bitterly, a laugh like salt in a wound — bitter in a way that has since hollowed out and left behind a shell of regret. "when's the last time you ever heard of an actress from six?" this was their routine. they'd say something cruel, and then something kind, and finally their hands would meet like they were always bound to. a ballad playing on a cheap radio, a static choir. polaroids taped to the wall, memories refusing to be forgotten. little dreams in their heads, all the lives they should have lived instead of this one.

eileen & elliot; an absolute disaster of a pair. feared by all who know them.

knew them.

soulmates since that first day of school. one a prodigy in the making, and the other a problem child with no solution in sight. eileen remembers locking herself in the bathroom during their graduation ceremony, eighteen years of trauma folding into a single moment, bloodshot eyes staring into the mirror. at the girl looking back. owning every stupid mistake she's ever made, and still hating herself for each one. reckless, careless eileen — with her dry humor, and all her wild schemes. elliot was her one chance for redemption. in another room, with words powerful enough to break through walls, they are singing her praises. her best friend is destined to be great. the whole district knows it.

but eileen knew it first. a sky full of strange stars, but she's already named all of the constellations. always two steps behind, but so is everyone else — elliot is like a comet trapped in flesh, burning so brightly but moving at an unreachable pace. blink, and the person standing in front of you is hardly the same person you claim to love. this was, and will always be, their tragedy.

she's sixteen, and she's a memory. there's mascara tears trailing down her cheeks, and she's sobbing into her best friend's shoulder. she fucked up again. they've been here before. she chases highs like she's never known what it's like to lie on the ground, broken. staring up at those same stars. into those eyes.

"you think if we were brave, and we ran, life would be better than this?"

the night regards them quietly. elliot looks down at her like the sun at its highest point; like she has a purpose, a calling. like all of eileen's problems haven't been caused by her own two hands. like running could ever solve anything. it feels like a parting, even then.

even now.

eighteen again. she locks herself in the bathroom stall.

and she lights up a cigarette. call her a traitor. call her damaged.

the world keeps on turning until it doesn't — eileen shifts from a traumatized teenager into a traumatized adult, elliot starts a new career right after graduating. the silence grows between them like a universe, a vast blackness wrapping itself around them like a funeral shroud. they write letters, and they grow up, and all the while they talk about the things they'll do when they grow older still. because the present has always been so terrifying, especially for eileen. her best friend is changing the world, even if she's not allowed to know the specifics. she's sure of that. in the same way that she's sure her own life is ruined. "i'm talking to tommy again." two weeks before she disappears, this is the last cruel thing she says to elliot.

if she unpacks it, if she thinks long and hard about her choices — eileen self destructs in the hopes that someone can fix her and make up for all the pieces of herself she hates. a puzzle that doesn't want to be solved, but made into something new. she's twenty-one, and she's sixteen, and she's eighteen; all of her life can be witnessed in this single moment. shoulder to shoulder with elliot, cigarette between her fingers, she begs for pity and refuses to accept any of the advice. after the detonation, she stands in the fire, and she has the audacity to hope for rain.

it's easy for a wreck to accept destruction.

but for all the terrible moments, there are beautiful ones, too. there's a song playing on the radio again. their hands meet, swaying to the melody, laughing like disaster is only a possibility. not a truth. they have so many dreams. they are alive. this has already happened, and will never happen again.

she waits for letters that never arrive. the world allows itself to forget about the sun.

elliot testino-lee is gone.

but eileen remembers.

TLDR;

Gloria is the identity used by Eileen Langston to infiltrate the organization responsible for Elliot's disappearance, however shrouded in secrecy it might be. Originally joining only to investigate the whereabouts of her best friend, who she has never had an extended lack of communication with, her goals will shift and develop as the plot goes on and new truths are revealed — ultimately, her main goal will be to kill the commander himself, blaming him for the choices that have sentenced Elliot to her comatose state.