interlude.— [peter (justice building one-shots)]
Feb 14, 2022 22:25:10 GMT -5
Post by Deleted on Feb 14, 2022 22:25:10 GMT -5
P E T E R W E B S T E R - V Ă D U V A
trigger warning: intrusive thoughts, suicidal ideation, mentions of self-harm
It hit me.
I was going to die.
Even if I survived, I was going to be dead.
I would have to kill, that wasn't who I was.
I wasn't a killer.
How did Teddy do it? How did Flynn?
How did they fucking live with themselves?
No matter what happened, they won and I lost.
The Captiol won, we would all either die or become monster.
Not just the tributes this time, everyone.
We either die or we pick someone else to die, we choose them by name.
They won this year.
Would Six ever heal from this? Would Panem?
What if it wasn't too late? What would the Capitol do if a tribute never showed up after the reaping?
I couldn't run, they would find me before I ever left the district.
But as I sat on the floor, sobbing after my family had all gone, the Peacekeepers were only half watching me.
They thought nothing of it when I got up and stared at myself silently in the mirror.
They didn't hear me apologise to Gabriel and Willa under my breath.
But they heard the crash when I smashed my head against the mirror.
Once.
Twice.
And they tackled me to the ground.
My head was pounding, I felt a single streak of liquid flowing down it.
I thought I could win. If I died on my own terms, I would have beat them.
I wouldn't have to suffer.
But, they won again.
I looked at the cut on my forehead from my broken glass of the mirror, it was small. Teddy and Flynn wouldn't notice it.
Either way, there was no winning this.
I'd try to survive - for Teddy, for Luca, for Gabriel, and for Willa.
But no one ever won.
I had never felt like this before, I had never been so defeated.
For once, I was hopeless.
Did they already kill me?
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