darklight glow / nowles, day 6
Apr 7, 2022 19:42:02 GMT -5
Post by calla on Apr 7, 2022 19:42:02 GMT -5
⭐
I always said that when Mom's heart stopped I could feel it. I was sitting in math class, staring at a line of long division, and then it just sort of hit me. I got those heart palpitations - the ones Yale describes when they get panic attacks. I told everyone that I felt my palms got all sweaty so I got up and left and sat under the main stairwell until it stopped.
I was lying though. I didn't know she was dead until I got home and there was no one there. I ran to Uncle Mourn's because that's what we were supposed to do, and there was Dad, sitting with his back to the wall looking at everything and nothing and I could tell that he'd been out working because he’d washed up but not well enough.
There was still blood under his nails.
Because that's the thing about omnipresent narration, right? You gotta believe whatever I say.
I can tell you I felt the moment that my Mom died and I can tell you I felt the moment that Maze Armstrong died and I can tell you I felt the moment that I died.
You've just gotta figure out which ones are true.
I'll tell you a story about how I passed out in that suit and my heart stopped for about three seconds and then something happened to Rosie that made her spark up and kickstart me going again. The world went dark and fluttered and I expected to see my Mom on the other side, but she wasn't there, there was nothing there. Except there wasn't even nothing. There was just an absence of everything else.
It was like an emptiness but nothing was empty. There was something in the dark, but there also wasn't. I was there but I was here.
Are you confused yet?
Maybe it's all bullshit - the cannon never went off, so I can't prove anything. I could be talking out my ass because that's what someone like me does.
Someone like me.
I drag Rosie out of that shit-hole - maybe she drags me - the sky turns green and then purple and then red and then it just disappears. Everything's quiet except for the ringing. Even the coyotes stop howling.
The world goes dark again.
I was lying though. I didn't know she was dead until I got home and there was no one there. I ran to Uncle Mourn's because that's what we were supposed to do, and there was Dad, sitting with his back to the wall looking at everything and nothing and I could tell that he'd been out working because he’d washed up but not well enough.
There was still blood under his nails.
Because that's the thing about omnipresent narration, right? You gotta believe whatever I say.
I can tell you I felt the moment that my Mom died and I can tell you I felt the moment that Maze Armstrong died and I can tell you I felt the moment that I died.
You've just gotta figure out which ones are true.
I'll tell you a story about how I passed out in that suit and my heart stopped for about three seconds and then something happened to Rosie that made her spark up and kickstart me going again. The world went dark and fluttered and I expected to see my Mom on the other side, but she wasn't there, there was nothing there. Except there wasn't even nothing. There was just an absence of everything else.
It was like an emptiness but nothing was empty. There was something in the dark, but there also wasn't. I was there but I was here.
Are you confused yet?
Maybe it's all bullshit - the cannon never went off, so I can't prove anything. I could be talking out my ass because that's what someone like me does.
Someone like me.
I drag Rosie out of that shit-hole - maybe she drags me - the sky turns green and then purple and then red and then it just disappears. Everything's quiet except for the ringing. Even the coyotes stop howling.
The world goes dark again.
