karina bowen. ten. cb.

I'm going to be a vet when I'm older.

That's the most important thing that you need to know about me. No one knows it looking at me, but it's the most important thing. No matter how often I forget it, no matter how I get distracted by other, sillier things, I'm going to be a veterinarian. You heard it here first.

But listen. It's hard to get people around here to listen to you when you look just the same as everyone else. I remember being four and my mama was always trying to get me dressed in outfits that matched her. She and Pa were always waking up before the sun, pouring coffee in their mouths, still hot. Ma used to burn her tongue every morning, without fail, and Pa would rub between her shoulders and comfort her. Then he'd tell her that she did it to herself, and she'd laugh, and they'd both be checking on the animals by the time 6AM rolled around and it was time to get me ready for school. Ma would be covered in dirt and grime, but she'd clean her hands off and get me into a pair of coveralls that looked just like hers, plaid shirt underneath to match.

Everyone at school always looked the same. Sooner than later, I knew everyone in the area and we all looked the same. Different skin, different hair, different bored looks on their faces, sure, but I always felt like I'd been made in a factory, turned out by some machine and handed over to my parents. As if dressing like shit and being from Ten are supposed to be a package deal.

As if.

I started throwing tantrums about my clothes pretty early on. As soon as I realized I could stand out, I decided that I would. It doesn't matter that I have to wake up forty minutes earlier to get all my chores done before getting ready for school. My Ma hates it, but as long as I get all my chores done, she can't say shit. I won't let her.