the death of thought ;; cryowake 1.2

Maybe it's the promise of what's to come in the morning, but Scarlet lays there in the dark long after lights out, wide awake. He's been too focused for self doubt in the last few weeks. There's been training, physical, mental and then separate sessions with the Commander that sometimes seem more like pep talks than classes on how to command a unit of three.

He slides a book up off his side table and lets himself out of his shipping container. The halls are lit dimly by strip lighting along the bottom of the walls, casting Scar's shadow in front of him as he walks.

There was no fear when all he had to worry about was himself. The idea of ending up like Elliot had occurred to him briefly but the concept hadn't mattered then. If Scarlet loses himself in the headspace of the synchronization like her, it'd be a pity but at least it'd be his own fault. Now he has Carrow and Hargrave on his conscience too.

He's been spending a lot of time with Elliot, the blueprints of her mech– his now– unfolded on his lap as he mindlessly reads aloud to her from any piece of literature he can find in the warehouse. She can't hear him of course but it's almost easier to think like this, Neruda's sonnets falling from his lips like ice melt.

It's nearly one in the morning when he finally trails off, voice hoarse. He lowers the book to his side and then lets it slide out of his hand to the floor. Blue light illuminates the room, casting rippling shadows on the wall. Elliot floats there, silent as ever, caught in that space between dreams and sleep.

"What, no words of wisdom for your successor?" he asks softly. "...Not that you ever had much time for me before."

It's not like Scarlet had been no one, he'd just spent all of his life in the sub levels with Storm and his father in mechanics, there hadn't been time to fraternize with pilots. Elliot owes him nothing and there's no real reason for him to feel this sense of responsibility for her.

Except he was down there every night in the shop and Elliot's mech was beneath his hand enough times, he should have spotted the glitch that trapped her.

"It's just– the mech was operating perfectly, I know, I've tuned it up so many times... so if the problem isn't in the mech, it's got to be...."

In there.

In the end it doesn't really matter who Elliot is to him, Scarlet is his father's child and he was raised with a heart that cares, that would give up anything to help the people of Panem, even his own flesh and blood. It's telltale in the absence of his mom at the dinner table and the way his right arm ends in a scarred stump at the elbow, this family has been unraveling itself for the greater good for decades.

"I haven't forgotten my promise," Scar whispers. Then he folds the mech blueprints up and makes the journey back to his bed.

He's up around six, thoughts running fast enough to wake him. A creature of habit, he slips his joggers on and heads to the gym for a morning run to try and calm himself. It's not quite the same, running on a belt but he understands why it's not safe for him to go outside anymore. He just misses the scent of pine.

A couple hours later, Scar's standing at attention beside Carrow and Hargrave, eyes on the mech suits waiting behind Harriet. He's never synced with a mech before but he's been on the mechanics team long enough to understand how it works. It's not as simple as it seems on paper. There's a high chance that Scar won't be compatible for this and the Mech will refuse the link.

His career could be over before it even begins.

Scarlet tries not to think about that, and at Harriet's signal, he approaches the suits with the other two. There isn't much camaraderie between the three of them yet, not that there's reason for there to be. They've had no missions, they don't even know if they work well together. Today isn't just to sync with their suits, it's to see if the three of them can be a team and that's what's got him more nervous.

Failure doesn't feel like an option these days.

Elliot's s– his suit sits there dormant, a full battery light fading in and out on it's arm the only thing to suggest that it's even still in use. Scar runs his hand down the arm of it lightly, then catches his fingers on the edge of the mechanic's panel on the suit's torso.

"Still looks good old friend," he mutters quietly as he checks the suits levels on the small screen within. "Your core will need a new refractor soon though."

He's been working on A-1 for over a year now now, refining the tech with his father and Storm until it was absolutely perfect, there's no piece of this mech that he hasn't seen at least a hundred times. He also knows just how often the suit would come back mangled and he'd have to rebuild nearly from the ground up.

Carrow and Hargrave seem to be doing fine without him so Scar lets himself focus on suit A-1 as well. He shuts the mechanic's panel and moves his attention to the offline synchronization access. To fully experience the mech, they'd need to be in a stasis chamber like Elliot's. Since today is just a simple sync test, the nodes hidden behind a second panel on the suit's forearm are being used.

Almost reverently, Scar takes the nodes and places one against his forehead and the other under his shirt, against his chest, over his heart.

He draws in one long deep breath, trying his best to clear his mind and then, "A-1, power up and begin synchronization."