eulogy of a wolf

arctic
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eulogy of a wolf Nov 15, 2022 14:10:05 GMT -5

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Post by arctic on Nov 15, 2022 14:10:05 GMT -5

Do not throw this away. Please. Get this home. Get this to them. If you can't, find someone who can. I've been forced silent, but my heart screams. It aches and shakes. It screeches like the sound of the coffee machine Pa' had when he wanted his morning cup. It screeches like the wolf to the moon. It cries, and it whimpers, like the infant who cannot express his or her words. A puppy that has been stepped on.

The store needs me, and I need it. But we all know that the reunion will never happen. It never does.

These letters were written by me - Damion, check the paw print, and they are not yours. I am not yours. I will never be. These are for the store, for the home. For the people that I wanted to cry out to at nights when the moon would shine brighter than the spark I had to live. That damn cat. That old grandmother that always ordered the Honey Cornbread.

It's for the people whose lives I've touched. Not for the ones who ruined mine.

0/5

Last Edit: Nov 15, 2022 14:10:52 GMT -5 by arctic

arctic
Veteran Member

2,548 POSTS

Pronouns: he/him
last seen May 7, 2024 17:32:46 GMT -5

eulogy of a wolf Nov 15, 2022 15:47:25 GMT -5

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Post by arctic on Nov 15, 2022 15:47:25 GMT -5

Now that that first letter (hopefully) turned them away, hopefully this don’t sound as robotic.

I know you can’t read this. You’re a cat. But I wanted to start easy and simple - save the tears for later.

I miss ya’ so damn much, you bastard. I miss our walks deliverin’ milk. I miss having ya’ damn furnace of a body curled up at the foot of the bed, because my body was too long for the blanket, and mom never decided to get me a new one. I miss the quiet mornings in the parlor. Where it only smelled like coffee and the chocolate chip muffins we just took out of the oven. The lingering taste of bread would always get you perked up. Ya knew ya weren’t supposed to have any of the chocolate. But as cats do, ya didn’t give a damn. Drawn to the displays like a moth to light.

I miss how I could tell ya everything. How I could trust that your presence was calming, and you were at peace with whatever I said. Part of me wonders if ya struggle as much as I do when we’re sad. At our worst, and all we need is company, and that’s all you can be. Ya can’t talk. Ya give words of advice, or support. Ya can’t do shit to help. Just sit and listen, which is all the better to have.

This letter is gon’ be short, mostly coz I already knew Delilah won’t wanna read it. Not that I would wanna either. Readin to a cat sounds pretty damn stupid now that I’m here.

There’s a piece of hair tied into the paper. If either of you bastards throw this away, I hope the Cornbread couple haunts you. They probably died. If not, curses to the bastards who had me die faster than them. Give it to Scoops and let im’ smell it. Get to know my scent as the wolf I was in my last dyin days - I want to know if he woulda kicked my ass or not. I hope he recognizes me. I hope they don’t confiscate this.

I miss ya, buddy. Fend off them rats from the store for me, will ya?

1/5

arctic
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eulogy of a wolf Nov 16, 2022 0:26:51 GMT -5

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Post by arctic on Nov 16, 2022 0:26:51 GMT -5

Fuck you.

Fuck you, and your business-driven attitude. Fuck your success-or-bust aspirations. Fuck the way that you took us and made us your workers and not your children. I never knew what life was outside of the parlor. From the age of six, where I could barely hold a cone, my only goal was to please you. And please I did.

Growing up, I thought you were an idol. I thought the drive you had to keep the parlor running smoothly astounding. Like you were some superhero, or something, for being able to run such a strong and stable business. I also used to take such pride in that. My entire personality growing up was the parlor.

Fuck you for that too. For making me nothing but a fucking scoop of ice cream.

All of my life, I relied on the parlor to keep me happy. I never had the time for friends outside of school because you always needed help. You did it to me, and thank god I’m dead, beacuse you would’ve made me continue. You’ll continue to make Delilah and Dustin nothing but labour. You never even paid us. If you did, it was only twenty dollars to “go get something nice for yourself”.

Fuck you.

I hope that somehow, somewhere, someone in that district snaps on you. I hope it’s Delilah. Somewhere she gets the decency to show you that we’re your children, not your workers.

I hope that the store without me, because I died without it.

2/5

Last Edit: Nov 16, 2022 0:27:30 GMT -5 by arctic

arctic
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eulogy of a wolf Nov 18, 2022 15:59:32 GMT -5

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Post by arctic on Nov 18, 2022 15:59:32 GMT -5

I wish I held ya’ hand tighter that day. I wish I wsn’t so dismissive of the possibility of bein reaped. I wish that last hug I gave ya was tighter. That it loved ya more.

I miss ya, kid. I miss sharin’ our room. Yeah, you stink up the place. But I miss the other parts. I miss bein the older brother you came to for questions. Bein’ the person you trusted with them, too. I don’t know everythin’ about how ya’ feel, the experience you live, but I hope you know that I love ya’. No matter what dad and mom tell ya, even if ya do tell them, I will always support ya. Even if this letter makes it home with me. Even if it doesn’t. I am with you. Every single damn step of ya’ journey.

I can’t sit here n’ say I get it, because I don’t. I have always told ya about Julia. How I gave her free ice cream because I loved the girl. How I thought somehow it’d make up for my absence, work first n’ all. Whenever Dad would ask us what the missing sales were from, it often was covered up by me. That I got hungry or sumn’. I wish I gave ya more time to open up about love yourself. Because ya deserve to. And I know ya don’t want to talk to Delilah, but she loves ya just as much, ya dweeb. Give her a chance, please. She’s all you’ll gonna have anymore.

Dad only sees us as workers - I see ya as my brother. I wish I were able to give ya the love that ya deserved from a family. I hope I did - I hope somehow I made up for the absent love that Dad never gave. I hope ya begin to love yaself - all seven pints a week of yaself.

Words cannot describe how much I feel for ya, how much I miss ya. I wish I could write more, but ma pinched claw of a hand tryna write this shit is startin to hurt. If ya didn’t know that I love ya by now, that means I fucked up. And if I did, I am sorry bud.

Be yourself. Love yaself, even if yaself isn’t what mom and dad approve of, becuz i always will.

3/5

Last Edit: Nov 18, 2022 15:59:59 GMT -5 by arctic