dolly snowspire | ten | fin | Hunger Games: The RPG

dars Administrator 7,702 POSTS Member is Online — 🥀 —	dolly snowspire \| ten \| fin Mar 27, 2021 13:47:36 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by dars on Mar 27, 2021 13:47:36 GMT -5 DOLLY SNOWSPIRE ^{DISTRICT TEN \| 18 it didn't start with hailsham x}
	Last Edit: Nov 28, 2022 11:25:57 GMT -5 by dars ^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

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dolly snowspire | ten | fin Nov 20, 2022 13:33:39 GMT -5

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Post by dars on Nov 20, 2022 13:33:39 GMT -5

I figure that as long as I stay focused, I'll be president of Panem by the time I'm 35. If I'm adopted it'll be by someone who appreciates a good intellect, so that'd more likely be someone from the Capitol than Ten. No offense. Obviously, I'd have to work my way up in the industry and, at least according to what I've studied in history, most all of the politicians of the Capitol work within or alongside the Hunger Games. I'd probably start with something there, make my way up into the council which they only had to appoint because I was much too young to lead at the time, maybe even liaison Ten for a term. And then, once they all realize what a great leader I am and how smart my policies are and how much District Ten improves under my care, they'll be like, 'I think it's time,' and I'll be like, 'I know, right?'

Or, at least that's the ideal circumstance.

Right now, it feels like a million miles and a lifetime away. Though, I've read plenty of books with teenage protagonists and I'm not nearly narcissistic enough to think I'm the only girl in the world who is far away from the things she wants for herself. In the end, she always gets what she wants by persevering, and that's what I have to do as well: strive for the best. Even when it doesn't feel competitive any more. There weas a time when some of them- Kaine, Quinn, and Hanna- used to give me a run for my money, but the thing that separated me from them is that I was okay giving up everything to be the smartest. I was willing to give up all my time, to deny Dragomir when she tried to assign me ballet as a talent because she didn't appreciate the art of well-articulated powerpoint presentations yet. Kaine got too into free thinking and preferring to remember those thoughts, Quinn got adopted right when it was starting to matter most to us all, Hanna couldn't afford to waste time not rehearsing her music.

I on the other hand have taken the maximum amount of extra credit courses every single year, I dedicate almost all of my enrichment time to studying for tests or working on my yearly thesis, and I never received below an A as a result. Ever. It might be true that I've fallen too deeply into it all- Nurse Kim had to start giving me pills at night so that I'd sleep- but the truth is that I never really felt like I had any other option. I feel like none of us did. I refuse to be made to feel weird for my passion when it is arguably the one of the only things giving me a purpose. Ms. Munroe tells me often in our sessions that my ambition frightens her. And I guess it makes sense- most people convince themselves that they're only worth a house, or a steady job- enough to get by. Especially people in our station, who've been denied basic necessities like family our entire lives. But I refuse to be made to feel small by my circumstance. I have what it takes to be something more, even despite.

Grant makes it easier. He makes everything seem easy in a way, always unapologetically himself, always aware of his limits and his strengths, always there to guard the parts of me left exposed when I'm spreading myself too thin. I give myself enough credit to think I could still manage even without his help, but the truth is that I hate imagining a world in which I have to. We've been together for so long and shared so many parts of ourselves with one another at this point that it's impossible for me to imagine any future that does not also include him. He never tires of my long-winded rants about niche topics no one else cares to hear about, and his is a sort of quiet wisdom that I value perhaps more than any other in existence. It drives me insane seeing the world treat him like some idiot with sawdust in his brain who would've been a perfect fit raising cattle on the edge of the world in a farm somewhere and not much else.

Especially because sometimes I think he believes it is true. And not only do I see the loads of potential there, I also am selfishly terrified that if he believes it enough then there will come a day when all of my dreams really have come true, but at the expense of all of his becoming impossible. I love him, and I know he would do anything for me, but I could never bring myself to expect him to live his life for me instead of himself. It's a topic that scares me so much I dare not approach it, even in our honesty hour in which we are contractually bound, (my suggestion,) to not be mad at each other for the questions we wish to ask. Because I fear the answer.

But for now, Grant is my safe zone, and I try to be his. And I think us having each other has sort of taken away the scariness of interacting with our peers. Neither of us has to do it alone. If I don't want to have a sleep over with the girls, I can just say Grant and I have plans of going for a ride before class early the next morning. Every time one is required, I have an automatic lab partner. When it's time to choose teams, I never have to worry about being chosen last. He makes me likable. It hurts the ego, but it's true: people can't hate me without hating him, and he's impossible to hate. At least in my eyes. We've lasted longer than any of the other romances that've sparked up and fizzled out through the years- even Ms. Munroe once said that if anyone had the staying power to make it last, it was us. And I hope she's right.

Because if she isn't-

Well. Let's just hope she is.

Last Edit: Nov 28, 2022 11:24:23 GMT -5 by dars

^{I AM A GARDEN OF BLACK AND RED AGONIES}

dars Administrator 7,702 POSTS Member is Online — 🥀 —	dolly snowspire \| ten \| fin Nov 28, 2022 11:26:24 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by dars on Nov 28, 2022 11:26:24 GMT -5 good golly miss dolly, reckon she's finished!
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🌱 kaitlin. Graphics 2,686 POSTS Pronouns: she/her last seen Apr 27, 2024 21:52:54 GMT -5 aspiring beam of light	dolly snowspire \| ten \| fin Nov 28, 2022 12:07:59 GMT -5 Quote Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Member Give Gift Back to Top Post by 🌱 kaitlin. on Nov 28, 2022 12:07:59 GMT -5 dolly whenever someone besides grant tries to get her to hang out:
	what are men to rocks and mountains? a haunted house.