vanda hidalgo . d4 [fin]

18
she/her
district four
bisexual disaster

tw: spousal/domestic abuse, cheating/infidelity

My girlfriend, Greta, is the most wonderful, beautiful thing in my life. She's a strong, powerful, muscularly built young woman that could absolutely crush you with her biceps. I'm quite the stark contrast to her, but we mesh together better than most couples I've seen in my lifetime.

I'm more of a small-framed individual with a build that's quite possibly more fragile than I'd like, but I still have enough knowledge, endurance and agility behind me to almost keep up with Greta in career training. I'm still far from being able to join her in the Ironlifters' Club, though, when it comes to my physical power and strength. I'm just not built that way.

Blonde hair sprouts from my roots, whereas Greta's hair is much darker. My eyes are a deep green, whereas hers shine a bright blue. I dress very feminine: pretty clothing that highlights my best physical qualities are my go-to. She's often seen in gym clothes that show off her best physical qualities, which are a bit different from my own. Standing next to each other, you can see how different we look, and most people wouldn't think we were even remotely part of each other's lives, much less a couple.

I've always been the romantic type. I buy Greta flowers. I take her on dates and pay for both of us whenever I can. I even wrote a song about Greta once, and played it for her on my guitar. My singing voice isn't something I think of as impressive, but she seems to like it.

When I'm not with Greta, I spend a lot of my time working. I work as a florist, making the prettiest arrangements I can to sell to the people of District Four. I suppose that's why I like to buy Greta flowers so often— I usually arrange them myself to make sure they're just right for her, and always make sure to include her favorite flower: tulips.

My favorite flower is a daisy. I've always liked how delicate and pretty they are. I like to think they're similar to myself. I suppose delicate isn't always the best thing, though. I train as a career, but don't do much of the hand-to-hand combat: it's too harsh for me and I always end up far more bruised than I should. As a career, I focus more on lighter weapons, like knives, or ranged weapons, like a bow and arrow.

Another thing that being delicate makes difficult for me is making new friends. I struggle a lot with taking criticism, so when I try to befriend someone and they don't reciprocate, I get very down on myself. I get frustrated, too, and often end up causing far more problems than there every should have been in the situation.

My ex boyfriend Wren was really nice and just trying to help me, which I realize now, but at the time, I always thought he was trying to be rude when he gave me constructive criticism. There was a time where he told me that if I was struggling with the hand-to-hand combat in career training, that perhaps it wasn't for me, and that I should try doing something else in training. Instead of listening to him or at least taking his advice into consideration, I flipped out on him. I wasn't happy, and let's just say, it eventually led to the end of our relationship.

Eventually, Greta suggested the same thing to me: trying another form of training. I was so deeply in love with her already at that point, and knew she felt the same way about me, that I knew she couldn't possibly have meant it in a malicious or rude way. It was like an epiphany in that moment. She was trying to help me. I knew in that moment that she wasn't trying to tear me down like I'd thought Wren was.

I've been working on myself more and more since then, and have been trying to read people better. I've never been all that great with social cues, and it's ruined a lot of my relationships and friendships over the years. I've got a few close friends in my life now, and of course I have Greta, but there's not a lot of positive relations with people in my average day-to-day. I really want to fix that, but I'm not sure how. I'm kind to others, until I misread a situation, and I hate that about myself.

Growing up, my sister Yeala and I were very close, and my parents seemed like the best people I thought I'd ever meet, but that all changed so quickly in the last couple of months. My mom cheated on my dad, and Yeala sided with our mom on the matter. I sided with my dad, up until he did something I couldn't forgive him for: he attacked Mom. He tried to hurt her as badly as he could for what she did. He wasn't trying to kill her, as far as I know, but I wouldn't have been surprised if he did so on accident with how violent and aggressive he was toward her.

Luckily, everyone made it out of the situation alive, but I wasn't willing to stay with my Dad or my Mom after everything that happened. Yeala went to live with Mom, and Dad's on his own now. I ended up moving in with my best friend (who is one of my only friends), Leela. Leela and her family have been extremely supportive of my situation, and have said that I can stay with them for as long as I like. Currently, the plan is to eventually move in with Greta when we can afford our own place, but for now, I'm staying with Leela and her family.

One day, I hope everything sorts itself out. For now, though, I'm just going to keep moving forward. I'll do what I can to fix my life as almost all of it has been falling apart around me. I have to keep myself standing strong. I can't let things continue to get in the way of how I want to live my life.

I'm like a daisy: pretty and delicate, but I also want to be like a diamond: shining and strong.