enzo's gotta catch 'em all!

lorenzo, dude!!

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  VS  

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Woah, it's a good thing I don't know what I'm doing or some one could have seriously gotten hurt! 

One minute, it's just me and Jimmy looking around the tall grass and the next thing you know - RAM! - Cranidos charges right into my fucking shins! So not cool, I'm seething for a minute while Jimmy jumps up. At some point he leveled up and learned a cool fire move, he shoots a little spark out of his mouth at the opposing pokemutt. 

Flinching while I stand up, I'd be an idiot to miss this perfect opportunity! While Jimmy is busy being this things pincushion, I wind up a sick revolving shot and launch a one of the pokeballs at this Cranidos. Thankfully, Jimmy is really good at getting beat up, he's got him really distracted! 

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"We're SO good at this!"

lorenzo, dude!!

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Did you know that you can't register dead pokemutts to the pokedex? Just figured that out, rest in peace to whatever that was lol. No one really prepares you for this kind of an adventure, man, I'm just playing it by ear. First order of business is to make some more money though, which means I need to win some street battles. 

How is any of this legal? I mean, surely there's some kind of regulation, right? It's kind of insane how dangerous these guys are too, I mean, Jimmy started a forest fire on the way back to District 10-Ville and I just kept going. Someone in this universe will deal with that, and it won't be me. 

"Wow, my first pokecenter!" It looks just like in the photos, so it's impossible to miss the big old red building. Sure enough, a Nurse Ken is in the center with bright pink hair. "Hi Nurse Ken!" I say, and she just stares at me which I think is normal? They're like robots, and they're all identical kind of like the cops around here. 

Which, if you think of it, why are there so many cops? How much crime is going on in Kanto?! 

"Hey kid," uh oh, "want a free pokemon?"

"Sure!" 

"100G," the old man motions to his empty palm while I shuffle around my pockets for loose change. He shoves a ratty looking luxury ball into my hand and walks out. A luxury ball, eh?! Let's see what this bad boy has for me:

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a... what the fuck is that??

lorenzo, dude!!

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Jimmy and KNCKLESMSH aren't doing so hot with two battles back to back- well, Jimmy isn't. KNCKLESMSH hasn't done anything, I take him out of his pokeball and he just starts ramming the Thievul's body. It's kinda cute!! My pokedex is in that mutt's mouth so I grab it and get hit by KNCKLESMSH while doing so, but he's just quirky like that ykno? 

WOW that was a hard fight though, good job Jimmy! "Hey you! With the handlebar mustache! Yeah, that guy's A THIEF!" I say, pointing at him and yelling really loud - he must be so embarrassed. How dare you try to scam a KID! "You thought I wouldn't catch up with you, but I'm like, super fast, now give me my money back!"

He grumbles something like "beat it, gay boy," and I set KNCKLESMSH on him until he coughs up the gold. 

"there we go, good job guys!"
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lorenzo, dude!!

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     vs

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I'm like, freaking out at how cute this thing is and it's just standing there staring at me with its big old bug eyes. What's going on with this thing - I lift it up and start looking around at it and there's no reaction until his eyes light up. Woah, special effects! That's pretty cool, I want him, he's mine, yup. 

But then he JUMPS out my hands and so I panic and throw KNCKLESMSH at it. He does what he knows best and starts headbutting it, which is so not what I planned but should have expected. While this little robot guy is stunned I pokedex him: Golett! Wow, whoever named these mutts did a terrible job. Non-binary pokemutt though, cool. 

I've got 4 pokeballs and a dream of having half a poketeam before my first day is even up. I put my crocs in sport mode before putting my all into a super slinger shot.

[you're coming home with me!]
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IT'S MINE!! I'm gonna name you... Janet