ash / d1

I never really expected to be the head of the family so soon, if I'm being honest. I thought I had at least a decade, maybe more, before I had to put aside my own passions and aspirations to further our dynasty and care for all those with the last name Bridgerton.

I would never have admitted it before, but I've always looked up to my father, loving the way he commanded everyone's attention when he walked into a room. Mostly because he never demanded it like a petulant child, no. Or expected it out of some inflated sense of self worth. He was respected. Revered, even, for all his accomplishments and good business sense. He was strong and affluent, the descendant from a long line of power and wealth. And when I was a little boy, I was reminded of this nightly. I was told stories of those who came before me, of those with my same name who sought out knowledge and adventure, who strived for glory and greatness. My father told me I would be the next, and that someday when he was gone, it would be my duty to carry on the legacy.

I just had no idea that day would come so quickly.

I never expected to wake up one day with my father gone and the rest of the family looking to me to provide all of life's answers. Yes, I was bred for this, raised for it. I was literally made for such a task. But I feel so ill-prepared, so antagonistic even. Of course, I want to be the big brother my siblings need, and to be the son my father always wanted, but a much larger part of me wants to shunt away all responsibility and follow wherever the night may take me. Like when I was younger and what I did never really mattered.

Deep down, I know I'm a free spirit, or however my mother always puts it. Just like Benito, my rambunctious boys, she always says. I wish to see everything, more than just this little corner of the world we've carved for ourselves. I want to experience every wonder imaginable. But now I feel like a little boy again, trapped in the body of a princeling who has just now been crowned King.

I didn't ask for this, and if I'm being honest, I don't want it.