93rd Capitol Votes: Reaping

93rd Capitol Votes: Reaping Feb 2, 2023 11:33:53 GMT -5

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Post by Deleted on Feb 2, 2023 11:33:53 GMT -5

oh yes,
it's back, and it's badder than ever!
it's... *ahem*

CAPITOL VOTES!

Like usual it's your host, Risky P. Washington here to recap the Games, analyze everything going on and dish out some superlatives. Now don't get on my ass for being M.I.A. the last two years, mama had some things going on behind the scene. 93rd: new year, new me, same fat ass, okay?

You'd think after 93 years we'd run out of surprises at these things, but I was still gooped, gagged and gathered at some of these districts. Let's run through 'em real quick and then we'll get to the voting. District 1: half slay, now I know y'all saw that girl trip on them steps trying to volunteer. Dyno Moreno was giving me the drama I expect from D1, but like Le Roux a flop?! Oh that's bold bold, I've got my eye on THAT one.

District 2: now you can quit asking yes they did manage to find that girl, Yael, and y'all she is cute! I'm not gonna lie, I live for this puta already and Pierce Littleton's already being dubbed 'Romeo' for that adorable performance. Shout out to Etta Dett-Hook's guest appearance on another reality show, ain't she 19 yet? Go ahead and put that girl on the Bitchelore, that's what I wanna see.

3 & 4 were mostly chill reapings, though I got to give it to Fitzgerald for giving it the fuck back to whoever that was catcalling him. See, look at that baby, now they're the irrelevant ones! Also, am I going crazy or is that Liara's twin popping up in D4? Anybody else see that? Do I need NERVAlink eyeballs or something?

Whoever made that clickclack edit of Niko throwing his guts up I just want y'all to know you're going to hell if you don't leave that boy alone. On the other end of District 5 we get one of our volunteers, Itzal, and I just think this boy's the cutest thing this season, okay? In 6 I swear I couldn't see shit through all the plexiglass, so there ain't a whole lot there. If you've been hiding under a rock: word on the street is Scarletta's the boo thing of little Flynn Garner so I can't wait to see how that turns out.

Who'd've guessed he was into bad boys? Okay, Garner, I see you!

Skipping 7 because I think those two are super freaks, in 8 we get two volunteers - they can't wait to get the hell out of there, let me tell you. I'm blanking on Theo's last name but with him we've got this adorable little Hoe- oops typo, Hope* Do I want them to do well? Yes! Do I think they'll do well? Save your money, gal.

Okay, so District 9, you might be underestimating these guys but look I've been snooping and I think this might just be the district to watch out for. District 9's just been doing better and better since my man, Avriel, won, and I don't see 93 being any different. Adan knows how to get by with jack and squat, and Mirage's got a history to her, bitch. Talk about fuckin' dead behind the eyes.

10 is cute, I'm not gonna lie, they're cute! I don't know how they're gonna do in the games really, I feel like they'll pick up fans though for real. Autumn is this beautiful pageant girl and Elm's a farm worker, so Searley has material to work with already - what he'll actually do with it remains to be seen. In 11, if I had to bet, I'd go for mister fuckin Karl Jardens, man, something is just wrong with him. Don't drink the cranberry juice, y'all!

And lastly in twelve we've got some crazy shit going on with Calamity Grace, I mean what the hell. Did y'all see that fine ass cult man though? With the beard? Mhm. Finally, we get the adorable Ivy Mortuus who I believe is niece to the infamous Hyacinth Mortuus like do I even need to say more.

It speaks for itself how many iconic names are on this list, like, Moreno, Nixton, Forrerster, Hope, Izar and Mortuus. This truly is the year of the blood feud, and I can't wait to see how this goes down. My bet's D*** M***** but keep that on the down low.

- xoxo,