Falling Apart (Marauders Day 4 Leisure)
Mar 17, 2023 23:21:41 GMT -5
Post by Cato on Mar 17, 2023 23:21:41 GMT -5
My entire body aches, it's hard to focus, hard to keep myself going when all I want to do is lay down and sleep, but I know I can't sleep. It's a bad idea right now because I don't think I would wake up, and that is terrifying to think of. Death has called for me twice, and both times I've walked away from its grim embrace. I don't know when it will try to snatch me again, but I do know that I need to be prepared, and I need to make sure that I can still escape death's arms. I know that my body is starting to fail me though, and I know that it's just a matter of time before my body falls into this eternal rest. It's not something I'm prepared for, but it's something I have accepted.
I look at Mav and Dyno. They're both standing strong, but they've yet to feel the same brute force that I have. They've yet to suffer the loss I have, and maybe it makes me weak, but I am stronger than them. I've survived more than they have. I've suffered a lot of blood loss over the last two days, yet I'm still strong, I'm still carrying on, and I know I'm capable of succeeding. I already have a kill, and that's all that I need. "Death keeps knocking. I'll have to answer him sooner rather than later it seems." It's hard to say these words, but there's so much truth to them. Look at what has happened to me. Look at where I am. They have to know that I'm not going to be with them much longer.
My heart is slightly heavy, but I refuse to let anyone see that. I refuse to let anyone see inside my soul because showing them how weak I am means that they can take full advantage of me, and I don't want that. I've yearned for this moment, and I'm not prepared for it to end much sooner than I imagined. But what can I do? People are afraid of me it seems. Why else would they attack me over these two? What have I done that deserves this? It's because I'm stronger than them, and that is what keeps me going. I've built up this persona for myself, and now I'm prepared to hold onto it forever. I look at Mav. He's from home, and I want him to succeed. "Hope you and Dyno have a plan for when I'm gone." If I can't win, I want district four to bring it home, but I'm not going to tell him that. I then look at Dyno. "It's an honor being allied with you." It's all I can manage to say.