Katniss Everdeen vs...HARRY POTTER.

Katniss was bored. She was standing in the middle of a field feeling bored. She had her bow and arrows with her because she is the protagonist and she's allowed to carry stuff like that round with her to boring fields. She's just that cool. She looked up and saw Harry Potter.
Harry felt mildly angsty, as usual. He had a wand with him but was still feeling like a weak little child. He looked up and saw Katniss. "Pip pip!" he shouted. "Cheerio!"
Katniss rolled her eyes. This dude was messed up. "Well hey thur mista! My my, now what's a feller like you hangin round these parts for? Oh lawdy suh, I done decided 'td be mighty fine ter shoot chya! So'n I'll just be gettin' to that, gimme a moment if yer chickens ain't a-layin."
Harry felt distressed, and very angry. "Fish n chips, lassie, I can use bloody magic! I'm going to bloody shoot you with my bloody wand-thing! Bah! Phoenix! Illuminati! Lumos gluteus maximus!"
He pointed his wand at Katniss. Harry wasn't very good at spellcasting, and spells as complicated as his took some time to take action so he was patient. Katniss was not; she shot his hand off with an arrow because her aim is just that good.
"Ow! Bloody hell! The big pond! 'Lo there poppit, fancy a spot of tea! Quidditch"
Katniss rolled her eyes. This kid was so weird. "Good roosters suh, can'tcha just put them weapon 'way? Lawdy jesus, I've 'bout decided 'td be good ter do 'way with ya. My most sincerest sorry, suh, but the cows can't stop a-milkin' just 'cause you be stirrin' up the dust and such." Katniss took a moment to marvel at the fact that her voice sounded so normal in her head and so southern when she spoke. It wasn't something she intended to do; the words just came out that way.
She shot him in the head [see aforementioned impossibly good aim] and he died instantly.
Harry felt happy. Now that he died, he could go up to heaven and see Dumbledore and find the answers to the meaning of life! Then he could come back and finally get a girlfriend! For once in his life, he almost didn't feel angsty. Unfortunately, he just died. No white lights or totally random crying-things sitting under chairs. Just black stuff. 'Bloody damn,' he thought. Or did he? He was dead, after all.


WARNING: the following section contains the word 'ginger'. If you're offended, don't read it. Simple as that.

Epilogue:
Ginny was one angry ginger. She was so angry that she walked up to Katniss. "You killed my boi-frann!" she shouted. "And I didn't even get to get it on with him in Book Seven! How dare you?!" Then, remembering her British accent, she added "-crumpets! And, erm, scones! Or something."
Then, using her most powerful Ginger Death Glare, she glared at Katniss, who died on the spot and also didn't go to any strange white places because OH YEAH, SCollinz wouldn't mess with us like that.
Peeta wandered over. "Darn," he lamented, "my platonic love-interest has died!" Ginny rolled her eyes and flew away with her Awesome Ginger Flight Capabilities.
Peeta knelt down and began to sing MCR songs while writing poetry.
Then some mutts came and ate him.

THE END