first round is on me [benen&cassias]

b e n e n     g a r n e r

Like a true Irish man, Benen signs up to drink his feelings away. 

Another fight with Georgia, another inch towards the final blow - I still love her, no, you don't. Haven't for a while. What's the point of sticking together for the kids if the kids are miserable, too? There's a yelling match before he leaves the house, all that started with a scoff and a "...really?" One he didn't feel like letting slide, one that he regretted making a deal about in the first place; "aren't you always out with your friends?"

"Georgia, I don't have any friends, and neither do you," whoops. 

Is it a faux pas if it was on purpose? Everything just divulged from there, picking each other apart for a solid fifteen minutes as Benen finishes getting dressed and being berated by his wife for starting the argument. That Georgia, she's been a narcissist all along and he's just her weak other half, an old dog to be pushed around. Fighting with her used to give some kind of sick thrill, nerves mixed with a withheld anger that would make his hands shake, but it doesn't anymore. 

Instead, it just makes him sad. And it makes him drink; for once, he's getting out the house to do so. It's a rare day in hell Navarro & him have the free time to even go to a bar nevertheless together, and he tries to perk up before greeting Cass at the bar, but there's a melancholic energy Benen can never seem to shake off. "Oh shit, I uhh," he fumbles trying to think of a drink on the spot, his mind caught up in replaying the argument he and his wife shared before his arrival. 

"I was thinking Jameson, was never huge on vodka, really," the taste doesn't bother him, just the sensation of it going down. "Had my worst hangover off vodka crans, too, never again," he says with a forced grin. A lie, he'd probably done worse at his own home with nothing but whiskey at his side and a telly in front of him. 

"You interned at uh, Light Beacon Medical, right? Man, that hospital's gone to shit," he trails off, thinking of his latest liaison at that center. That whiskey can't come quick enough.  

b e n e n     g a r n e r

Benen's brows raise with Navarro's order, ginger and lime? "That how you drink at home?" Fancy shit, he's just used to drinking something brown and letting it do its job from there. He's never been a drink-for-taste kind of man, just somebody who drinks to get drunk as efficiently as possible. That's why Benen Garner and Jameson go so, so well together, on so many nights once everyone else is asleep.

If Georgia comes home, he always tries to find an excuse to sleep on the couch. That could be why his back is so fucked up at 42, but really, who's isn't? Almost 1/4th of adults suffer from chronic back pains and he sure isn't the exception. Even at the bar, he rolls his lower back in attempts to pop something into place to no avail. Benen never knows what to say to console someone, but every he hears of Minerva he feels the urge to say something. "Yeah, you two were too brilliant to be stuck at Beacon," he says before taking a sip of whiskey and wiping the spill on the bar with his right hand jacket sleeve. 

"You seem off, Ben," first names outside of work, right. He tries to crack a grin but those seem harder and harder to come by these days, "don't worry, I'm great," he lies, terribly. My face is just like this, being his go to excuse. Cass buys the rest of the tequila and by the time the bartender comes back around, he feels the need to confess, "man, not really, but it's just... drama before I got here." Always vague, "with the wife," he tacks on, almost like a warning that he'll start bitching if he goes on anymore.

Nothing exciting, he's never been one to share too much of himself. He covers up the conversation with the first thing he can think of - "Cass, can I try some of that?" Benen says, pointing towards the cocktail in front of his coworker, "ginger and lime, and all that." 

b e n e n     g a r n e r

When Cassias invites him over, he mulls it over a gulp of his whiskey. It's taste is stronger than anything else, a burnt oak clinging to the roof of his mouth until it hits the back of his throat. Wasn't cheap by any means, but it wasn't good is the problem, and it shows on Benen's face more than he'd be willing to admit. A shock and a grimace, he feels a chill down his spine as he goes for a second sip while Cass reaches over the counter to make his own concoction. 

"Never pegged you as a bartender," it's hard to picture them as anything other than medical professionals at this point. Not because they didn't have other passions - though, Ben seemed short on those these days - but because they'd merely been in the game so long. It's a very possessive field, and he's someone who gives into that easily: look at his marriage. He chuckles as Cass mutters some insult in his language, no clue what but from the sound of it it wasn't anything nice. 

It's amusing watching his coworker pick a fight, mostly because he'd never imagined Cass to be the type. Goes to show you don't know somebody until you're drunk with them, he tends to his own whiskey until he reaches the bottom of the glass. The last of it runs slowly and smoothly, but he can't help but wince afterwards. Hopefully whatever Cass puts together is a good chaser, he thinks to himself. 

"I hope it strong enough for you to forget whatever trouble you had with the wife earlier."

"Oh trust me, me too," he says through a pitiful laugh. He'd definitely be trying his hardest to ignore it, but there's an incessant nagging he can't quite shake. What an annoying way to lose out on a good time. "Well I've got to say, I'm happy you invited me out," he says, grabbing the cocktail with his large right hand, "good change of pace from burnt cafeteria coffee. Cheers," his dialogue punctuated with the clinking of two cocktail glasses. 

He's surprised that it tastes good, especially with vodka in the mix. There's a lingering aftertaste of bad whiskey he can't quite shake, but otherwise it's a great drink and it surely shows on his face. "You know, if we're going to serve ourselves we might as well just go to your place, right?"  

b e n e n     g a r n e r

"Right, let’s move onto my place when it is your round to buy next?"

"See, you get the idea," he says with a cheeky grin, free drinks always taste better. Wasn't his plan in the slightest, but it sure works out that way - finally, something going my way. He takes another sip of the cocktail, trying to tell the ginger apart from everything else and failing. Something inside of him perks up at the prospect of going to Cass's house over this bar, mostly interested in seeing how he lived. Ben would've invited him over, but ever since Flynn moved out he and Georgia have let the house go to the west side with their other two kids still inside it. Him, always busy with work, and her, always busy with not working. 

Cassias starts chugging before Benen's even gave it much thought, but he follows suit with much more of a struggle. He takes two breaks to swallow, even in his hay day he wasn't much of a partier with his alcohol, mostly drinking alone in the study hall cramming for the bullshit they threw his way. "How are you so good at that?" Teach an old dog new tricks, he looks almost concerned watching Cass down the entire cocktail without a problem. Cass tells him to hurry so he does, nearly choking on what's left in his glass before getting it down. 

Once he's done, he follows his companion out of the bar and onto the city street, District 6 smog greeting him like an old friend. "You must have other hobbies too?"

"Ehhh," if watching the telly counts then he's in good shape. He can't help but chuckle at Cass's last comment - he's already learned a fair bit about him on this night out alone. "Can't wait to meet him," the real Cass, he says with a grin, walking in tandem with his coworker wondering where he must live. "Think you've met most of me already," he says, downplaying himself as always. Miserable, sad ole Benen, "but who knows, I might just surprise you." 

b e n e n     g a r n e r

"I can handle my liquor!" Benen jests, a tad more defensive than he had meant, "I just can't chug." You don't chug Jameson, you don't chug good bourbon, and otherwise he's completely out of practice. He shakes from either the cold or the mixed drinks setting in, though he can't tell them apart at this point. Hands stuffed in his jacket pockets, he feels good. If he dug around enough he could find something to be upset about, as he normally does, but for once he just lets himself be. 

Just goes with the flow. 

He laughs at the idea of a Light Beacon party, "why am I not surprised?" Of course, that's where the party kids go after their 6 years are up. "It wasn't like that at all over at United, everyone there had a stick up their ass," himself included. United Medical Center was in the center of downtown, you could walk out the building and witness a mugging happening in real time. Stressed out was an understatement, the crime rate in the big city paying his bills before he wound up married to Georgia. 

All it takes is a wink from Cass to distract him from the thought, sizing up his apartment from the exterior alone. An apartment makes sense for him, with it just being Cass against the world these days. Benen misses a step on the way up, stumbling and blushing after he catches himself with the railing - shit, did he see that? The worst he could be right now is a sloppy drunk, and he hadn't even drank that much. "Shoes off," Cassian commands and Benen obliges, kicking his leather loafers off at the entrance before welcoming himself further inside. 

There's a narrow walkway with a hallway closet to his left, wide enough to fit his large frame as it leads into the living area. He examines the television as his coworker locks the door behind them, the apartment smells almost sterile - neat freak, he laughs to himself. Can you blame him? After the plague, he too made a habit of cleaning and cleaning until every germ in the house was eradicated. "Another drink sounds great!" He's never one to say no to free alcohol, much to the dismay of his wife. Anytime there's an open beer around her, it's alcoholic this and drunkard that, it's almost hard to enjoy his time with his friend with her words floating around the back of his tipsy mind. 

"Your place is great, I'll have to invite you over next," he says, taking a seat at the bar, watching Cass get to work. "When Georgia's out the house, probably," slipping out his mouth without a second thought; I've got to stop bringing her up. 

b e n e n     g a r n e r

"Maybe if I watch where I'm walking I'll be alright," he says, trying to overshadow how embarrassing it is with a laugh of his own. Cass must think he's drunk off his ass. Ben wipes the sweat on his palms off on the thigh of his jeans before leaning the bar island from his seat, watching as Cassias gets to work whipping some concoction up. He's got to admit, it is entertaining to watch him in action. It looks like Jameson, it smells like Jameson, he raises his glass to cheers with his coworker before taking a fat gulp. 

It does not, however, taste like Jameson. 

Something coffee-like, not quite what he expected but it isn't bad. Cass is grinning something serious and it's almost infectious, cracking a rare smile out of Benen with the liquor's assistance. He's never had much of a social life since getting married, most of his free time going to his kids or, in the early days, his wife, but for once he doesn't regret leaving the house. There's glimpses where he forgets about his home problems and just enjoys the moments with Cass, "it's good! Really good," he says, taking another sip of the brave bull. 

He can't help but let out a sigh as he thinks directly about his wife - what has that woman done now? Benen can think of a dozen different things, stuffing his mouth with a handful of cashews before deciding where to even begin talking about her. "Well, ever since my dad-" that maniac "-went off the deep end, she's been threatening to divorce me," he lays it out there. Without much remorse, at that, but it sounds so much worse when he says it out loud. "She thinks I'm a shit dad- and a shit husband," he tacks on with raised brows. He's almost nonchalant with how he talks of the situation, almost finding it laughable with the alcohol settling in his system. 

"But I think I might follow through with it," if he can get full custody, somehow, someway, he can't imagine life being any worse than it is now with Georgia. He sits back on the stool, sitting straight up and grabbing another handful of cashews, this time pecking at them one at a time. "With the divorce, I mean," you are what you drink and he feels like a brave bull, ready to take on the matador. 

"Sorry for bitching, I promise I'm having a good time." 

b e n e n     g a r n e r

It's reassuring to hear he hasn't completely killed the night with his complaining. He's normally not one to overshare in this manner, but something about the brave bull, tequila and Jameson all mixing in hit liver is saying otherwise. Cassias is no therapist, but it is reliving to finally get this all out to someone other than the man in the mirror. He nearly blushes when his friend says he can do better; Benen rarely thinks so about himself. 

As if he's with the person he deserves, sometimes he wonders how Georgia truly feels about him. If there's anything other than disgust left between the two of them. It's all he tries to wrap his head around until Cassias puts his hand on Ben's, a lingering touch followed by confused eye contact. He can do better, "and they are not waiting that far," Cass says. Between the drinks, it takes a second to process. His breathing quickens, but he doesn't move his hand, doesn't even think of it. 

What are you saying? He wants to ask, but he thinks he knows the answer. This is something serious, he takes a sip of his brave bull to prolong the silence, to find the words or the courage or an answer that'll never come. I'm not gay- he never really thought about it, being married to Georgia so young, there never was a reason to. He's certainly not a cheater, not like his wife, but there's a moment he thinks it all over, and it doesn't feel like getting even. 

It feels like moving on. 

Is he allowed to do so? He brushes his thumb on Cassias's as he puts the drink back on the counter - what will his kids think? "Well, uh," he stumbles with his words, unsure of what to say, "how long have they- you? Been waiting?" Something spikes in his throat, adrenaline or fear or both, he can feel the beating of his heart but it at least feels good to be alive. It doesn't seem real, that someone like Cass would find interest in him like that, but Benen finds himself regretting every time he blinks for its a second he can't look into those brown eyes. Maybe I'm reading into this, but Cass doesn't move his hand, and neither does Ben. 

"I don't know..." if I can, no matter how much he wants to. How risky is it to let the alcohol do the talking for him; would he want this as bad sober as he does right now? He looks from Cass to their hands to him again, and he sees a window of opportunity that won't be there forever, something that could be happier than his current, ending situation. There's only so many ways to find out, this moment won't last forever. 

"Can I kiss you?" He doesn't know what lets him be so bold, but he allows it.