kaiden mahdavi. 7m

says hears

My dad's been lying in an open casket for the past few months. While I'm stuck crushing up pills with a mortar and pestle, grinding it up to sprinkle it onto the soft, wet material for the sickened man, my sister's outside. In the world. She gets to see nature, life. Fresh air rather than the sanitized hospital bed that my dad's turned the bedroom into. I think it's bullshit that Luja gets to go outside every day. The only sunlight I get comes from taking out the trash. I can't leave dad alone too long, god forbid he dies.

I take a moment in the bathroom while he tries swallowing his food for the day - it's all baby food by now—Apple, banana, oatmeal. You know the works. "God, this sucks!" I say to myself as I look in the mirror. I splash water onto my face to stop my bloated, tear-straddled face from getting redder. We - Lu and I - used to sit on the pavement and toss marbles with each other. It was much simpler. Happier, really, because we didn't have to get split up into our household roles. Some people would say that I'm luckier. I get to stay home in the comfort of my own bed. But Lu isn't the one that's watching our father die day by day. We all know the medicine isn't working; dad getting paler by the day.

And once he dies, I have nobody. She's soaked up our mother's love and they're too busy making money now. Once he's gone, a distant memory of my sisters and the only memory of mine, I don't know what my purpose would be anymore.