Cephas Callum Mayweather//D10//done

c e p h a s .

"So I surrender all
All I want is to live within your love"

My mother is a blessing in it’s most true form . My father a fire and brimstone preacher prioritizing the order of the church as the sole purpose of his life. The sole purpose of all our lives. We rejoice in our faith, our protection, our sanctuary found in Todd and our Lord.

I have seen the squalor of the outside world. The misery the non-believers identify as their reality. Mother has always said that from the moment I formed in her womb, she knew I possessed the gift of healing just as does. She shown me the ways of curing with our faith and with what the lord has blessed the earth with. I would run errands under the supervision of my father to guarantee we always has had what was needed for the health of our community. If anyone fell ill or suffered an injury, my mother was the one who attended to them.

Only in faith would we ever be allowed to become whole again.

Those words were a constant reminder of my own sins, my own ungodly desires. There is not a single time in my life where Tanner was not a constant guiding hand on the journey of life. Together we grew up as the second generation of divines in the church. Together we held the future of our community. The bond between us unbreakable, my love for him deeper than I could ever speak into words. The fear that one day someone would piece two and two together and be able to understand my ungodly love for him haunts me in the worst of my nightmares.

How could I not love the man that understood the world the way I did? What other option was left? As the first of the younger generation allowed to leave on our own, we made the most of every second. We escaped to go out and understand the cursed earth beneath our feet. We wandered the hills looking for people in need of a place to call home. Searching for any signs of the holy land spoken of in the bible and sermons.

We never found what we were looking for but instead what god intended us to find. A true sign that our faith was the only salvation this world had.

A mangled man on the brinks of death laying out and open in the desert plain. Vultures circling up as he gasped at his last breaths of life. My teachings, my gift, my knowledge should have been enough to save him. Help him overcome the brutality of the world. I have performed these rituals countless times before on our own sick members. I spent years watching my mother heal those in desperate need. I only wished I could have saved the man unfortunately he did not want to be saved.

I held his leathery skin in my smooth hand. I lend him a smile and a caring glance with my brown eyes. I hoped to have given him a friendly face in his untimely death.

Without faith you cannot be healed. The lord opens his arms to all however without giving your life and devotion to the one true higher being, you cannot accept his gifts. The man died unfaithful, unwilling to receive the blessings I tried to bestow upon him.

That day forever changed me. I always believed in our mission, however now more than ever it was finally engraved in stone. My secret love for the man I could never have would always stay a secret shoved so far down that its barley made it to my consciousness.

I knew if my mother were to ever find out she would do her best to heal me and free me of the devil’s curse. My father, the man in charge of the sacrament of the Eucharist would not feel the same kind of love. He was a harsh man, harsh on his convictions and harsh on me.

His love shown through bible verses.

Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the lord your God will be with you wherever you go. – Joshua 1:9

My fathers’ favorite words of wisdom. Words I have heard on repeat throughout my childhood and so forth. They stick with me in his deep voice forever. It was his way of showing his love and what he expected me to be. I hope I do become the man he wanted me to be, blind in my faith. I hope I do become the healer my mother expects me to be, blessed by the divine and a heart full of passion.

I hope to become the best of both my parents in order to help lead the next generation of blessed chosen ones.