Elijah Ringenberg / 17 / District 10 / Church of Todd

Elijah Ringenberg ~ 17 ~ D10

I still remember walking out in the rain, the cold soaking through to my bones as I feel my stomach starting to turn on itself, aching and devoid of any sustenance. I tried to find whatever scraps I could, but even the stray dogs struggled to find any real food. My family was gone, and no one was available to take me in; not even the beloved Community Home could take me in, as they didn't even have enough resources for the kids they had, let alone for me. I'm unsure how far west I went, trying to find a ranch with any leftover food. I didn't know that I would find a savior, though. I'm not sure who saw whom first, but Father Garcia found me wandering the road and took me into his home. That was seven years ago, and now I feel safer and more welcome than ever.

Given my malnutrition growing up, I'm surprised to have grown as tall as I did, and while I'm thin in stature, especially given that I have been assigned to oversee the jail and be a part of the security team, I still manage to hold my own. Father told me when I was 12 that I had the face of a warrior and that I would be perfect for keeping those imprisoned in line. My face is undoubtedly angular, but I wouldn't describe it as harsh. I have a square jawline and what could be considered a strong chin. My cheekbones are definitely defined, though I always attributed that to the lack of food, I had growing up. My brows are straight and sharp too. My features may become more robust as I continue to grow older as well.

Hell, even my nose could be considered sharp. Maybe that, with my long limbs, is what Father is seeing. The sharpness of my features is offset by a fuller upper lip, though, and my eyes are still a lovely cool blue. If that is what I am called to do, so be it. While I may not fully understand the teaching of Todd or why Father started this commune, I don't need to. All I need to know and understand is that he saved my life, and I will do anything to pay him back.

Some say that I take my job too seriously and need to relax while in my post. However, the people who sin against our community piss me off. How can they not see everything that Father is trying to accomplish? How can they not see how great our community is, that we have safety and shelter? We don't have to worry about where our next meal comes from or how we will stay warm during the cool nights. Yet these sinners chose to go against us, against Father. Who am I to go lenient on them when they choose to defy us? Someone has to remind them that there are consequences to their actions. I don't hit them or deliver justice; that's not up for me to decide. But at least I can ensure that they won't escape under my watch or the watch of my fellow security guards.

While I admire Father, I still wish he would look at me the same way he looks at Tanner. Tanner is Divine, set up to take over once Father retires. It makes sense that he'll get special treatment, but it's been 7 years. I feel like I've proven that I'm worth the same love and devotion that Tanner receives. Not only am I the Warden, ensuring that the jail is adequately staffed and that the inmates are still fed, but I also do maintenance on the whole place. I handle more than my fair share of the chores around the house, ensuring that the house is clean and everything is where it should be. I sometimes end up having to cook dinner and breakfast for the family. I guarantee the cell locks are secure and immediately fix any broken ones myself. I even clean out the cells so prisoners have fresh sheets and bedding. I may strongly dislike them, but they still deserve common decency. I force them to clean out their own bedpans, though. I don't deal with other people's shit, figuratively and literally. Tanner, though, just has to be there. He doesn't have to prove anything to anyone.

As much as I hate Tanner, I'm more frustrated at Father for not seeing me like a son. He saved, raised, and gave me hope when I had nothing else, and I still feel like I'm fulfilling a need for Father's; or our community. I just want to be loved, to feel like I serve more than just a need for the community, but that someone would actually miss me. I sometimes still feel as lonely as I was before I joined Father's home, but maybe that's because I'm not doing enough as a son to earn his love and respect. Perhaps I should be doing more to prove my worth of his love and affection. I'll prove to Father and everyone that I'm worthy of love, respect, and being seen as more than just the boy Father took in.