it rains when you're gone // bb vs c&b // day 4

xaa had given you an earful, something that you did not want anyone else to go through. it took so much time that more cannons had sounded through the night. the last one belonging to the other boy from four.

you found it strange, but you didnt know him, so did it really matter.

you dont feel trapped in a cage anymore, you are free enough to do exactly what you need to do. you have already been labeled as the scary career, and while you thought it was funny, it was fitting. your family could at least live with that legacy, seeing as they treated you just like that.

you were the scariest thing to them.

but if you didnt keep yourself alert, you certianly would become nothing more than a memory that would eventually be forgotten.

that was the last thing that you wanted.

time passed, and before you knew it, morning time had come. the sun is bright, and you can see the rays of light poking through the thick forest. you stood up and woke up xaa and tommy, realizing that it really was only three of you now. you didnt waste too much time trying to treat them with kid gloves. they didnt need it.

you move through the forest and end up in a completely different area. you are curious to see what this place has to offer, but before you could even step foot, you heard the ground shift. its a subtle sound, but it is followed by tributes coming out of the woodwork. your spear is already in your hand, but tommy is bolting towards the girl from eleven.

he lashes out against her, and you can tell that he might have a serious taste for blood. you do not have one, but you know that people have to die here, so if they want to call you a bloodthirsty monster, you are completely okay with that. you think about following tommy, but the girl from nine acts quick on you.

she says something about not trusting careers.

she throws a knife at you, and you can feel it sticking into your skin, a searing feeling coming right after.

"the only person that shouldnt be trusted here is you nine." you sneer at her before pulling the knife out and sticking it into the ground. the pain remains, but you embrace it at this point. its what makes you.

"isnt district nine the new capitol bootlickers?" you know well that your districts main commodity had been moved to nine because of the lack of district two winners in the recent years.

"youre right not to trust me." you laugh.

you lift up your spear. "but ill give you something to trust in though." you take aim.

"death."

and you strike.

I did not sleep very well.

”You delusional piece of work”

Will’s words still rang clear in my ears.

Even after my chat with Luna, I just sat there criss cross applesauce tossing stones at trees, smiling to myself. There was something comedic to this whole ordeal I could not place my finger on when exactly my anger and hurt turned into amusement. Will was the delusional one. She was out of her mind storming off like that. I wanted to save her, be her salvation but there comes a time where all disciples are tested, and she proved faithless.

The pebbles clashed against the trees.

clink

clink

clink

I found a rhythm that accompanied my thoughts almost perfectly. An improvised melody as my mind sings a comedic ballad of all the words that were wasted on a lover’s quarrel. My empty threats, Will’s disbelief, Tommy’s hurt, Luna’s calming words.

Luna had proven to be a better friend and advisor than I thought she would have been. I chose her because she was terrifying, she reeked of danger when she spoke and when she walked into a room. To my dismay, she was the one who I confided in. My feelings were locked away in a vault that only the two of us had the keys to.

”She was scared, Xaa. The two of you were too close for comfort. She probably could not take that kind of pressure.”

Too close.

”She got one thing right. Violence, murder, insanity. It is your birthright Xaahira. You need to start acting like it.” Luna claims as she heads back towards where Tommy is camped.

My birthright. What would she know about my birthright. My family really did leave a real fucking legacy. A name known well in the shadows, a name with a lot of weight for those who were aware of our existence. Hands deep into almost every questionable operation in the country. A home-grown family business expanding its ways across multiple districts. An empire built on fear mongering and violence. I had the fear mongering down, violence was never my strong suit.

Maybe, Luna had a point. Maybe she didn’t.

If we were going to die then why not live life to the fullest? Her fear was irrational and childish, this was exactly the time to get close to someone, have the experiences you did not have the opportunity to have before. And draw some blood while were at it. Her fucking loss. All of this was her fucking loss. I would be better off without a scared little girl running with her tail between her legs.

Good fucking riddance. That was the end of it.

***

Tommy became one with the crown that was placed on his head. It made my antler crown almost pathetic in comparison. He was chosen by the dark figure for royal status. Whatever, let him have it. Even kings worshiped the gods. I did not have the energy to be mad about another one of my little leaps of faith. At least that one was fairing very well. You win some and you lose some. Tommy’s surprising bloodlust was just the win I needed.

Another silent morning.

We walked through the woods until we reached what seemed to be an orchid, fruitful and plenty. The apples hanging from the tree glistened in the daylight all too perfectly. The were inviting as if the trees wanted you to harvest their fruit. It lured you in like a trap and there was a small voice in the back of my head yelling not to eat the fruit. They had to be poisonous, there had to be a catch. I slowly moved forward towards one of the green trees. So full of life like I have never seen a tree before. My arm reaching out to pick one of the fruits off a low hanging branch until…

…Slice.

Tommy’s spear found its latest victim.

Elise Krane. How fun this was going to be.

She pleaded out for us to kill her friend. My jaw was on the floor. The very girl who told me that what angered her most was being stuck with people like me was doing whatever it took to survive.

I was right again; she would turn into someone just like me. No, even worse than me because I would never turn my back on my friends.

My laughter echoed off of the leaves and was carried through the orchids by the wind. A symphony composed of a fear inducing manic cackle.

”Careful darling, you only get three wishes” I hissed at her between the laughter. She wanted her friend dead. I could help with that. The girl in question never did me any wrong but also never did me any favors. She just existed for me, begging for death. Pathetic and weak. I could not care less if she lived or died, so death it was.

Table by ryan

When she turns, my blood's temperature reaches its peak. My breathing grows heavy and my grip tightens around the spear. The anger comes in waves, lapping over deep tides and my hands with the will to attack.

How dare Elise turn away from me, trying to redirect my anger. She's just like Will, uncaring about the needs of others. And while Will cast me into oblivion with her pivot away, Elise draws me out of nothingness and into to pain. Even with the stain widening around the hole my spear made, just a few inches from a vital organ, she turns to someone she thinks is more important, her claws outstretched to rake across the girl's face. With a heaving breath, I turn to see the girl also.

She has a crown that matches mine. In theory we're different: I killed an enemy and she killed an ally. But I know her soul is emptying itself of everything now too. I'm just taking it better. Rather than swimming with the torrent of nothingness, she's letting it sweep her away. Her wails are almost pitiful, the moss slowly growing as if to consume her. It's in agreement with her, she needs to die.

We'll make it quick. Xaa's already smashed her leg. Elise has already drawn blood.

Despite my anger at Elise, despite my need to see her suffer just like she made me suffer, I know that someone who wears a crown only deserves to be killed by someone who wears a crown. Xaa taught me that one.

I line my spear up with the girl, just like how Luna did with the snakes. It's easier than aiming, and this target is slightly less slippery. She's begging while the snakes fought back--this will be easy.

I take another glare at Elise, "This isn't going to be over when she's dead."

My weapon points at her, the sobs racking through her body growing louder by the moment. It's not like how Quentin died, putting up a fight. For a moment, I hopefully wonder if finally the cold and guilt will settle in my veins and if killing this girl will finally make me feel something other than anger and apathy, but it's unlikely-- I don't falter when my spear falls down towards her.

[attacks hespie with festerwood spear]
KXaR_EJV5Pspear
[Shallow Cut on Left Bicep -- 3.5 damage]

everyone comes to a halt and you are slightly confused. it was like they were ready to do battle one second and then the next, they had all the motivation drained out of them. you looked down for a second, realizing that the girl from eleven and xaa had been focusing on someone else, even though you remembered that both tommy and xaa had a bone to pick with her.

the girl from seven was begging for death.

that was a calculated move, she knew that much. however, it seemed like everyone, including her own allies were game for the idea of killing her. you remembered seeing the boy from fours portrait and according to elise, hespie is the reason why they killed them.

a mutiny?

fascinating.

who were you to tell them any differently.

you held up your spear and thought for a second. you could use this opportunity to stick it deep into the girl from nine. however, the cries from the girl is more than enough to seude you. you dont need to die here, just her.

"tommy is one wish." you look at the girl from seven.

you hold your spear tightly.

"nine, is two." you pull your arm back.

"guess im your third wish. ill make it come true." you are way too confident. "there are no gods here hespie." you are ready to strike.

"just devils ready to reap what they are owed."

and you strike.

I can hear her right femur crunch at the impact of my club.

The sound of a small victory and satisfying display of what Luna called my birthright. It felt almost too good to hold that power in my hand, something I was weary of before. I was never a fighter, never wanted to be one. The idea of violence was unsettling in a sense of not knowing what I was capable of. There was the lingering thought that I would lose control of my actions once I got a real taste for blood. I saw it happen with Yannis, my cousin that once was nothing but a loveable bear. He still was a loveable bear, only now he had the taste for murder.

He lacked all control when it came to his bloodlust, not exactly ideal.

I wanted to break another bone. I wanted to feel that crunch of the other girl’s leg.

My allies took their swings at her, one after the other. Her allies took their swings too. It was a free for all on the death of the girl from district 7. A hunger games circus spectacular, the bitches were beating down on an already dying hound.

It was almost lame. There was no fun in striking down someone at their worst. There was no challenge to be met. No game to be played. It was not worth my time, if the others wanted to take the life of a lifeless creature, they could have at it. I wanted fresh blood, specifically from the rosy cheeked pseudo social media princess.

Elise calls out for us to let them off easy, let them run off once the vultures finished picking their scraps. Stupid girl, I had no intention on letting her walk out of her alive. It was unfathomable that she got this far already between her useless allies, the mutiny, oh and I how could I forget…her inability to throw a halfway decent party. The very sight of her just pissed me off.

”I never had any intention of letting you out of this alive, my dear. Someone has to pay the devil their price for taking your friends life, and it ain’t going to be cheap.”

table by ryan

They talk about wishes and devils as if they're real. I don't think they are. I never thought magic was real as I patched up a wound or helped someone through a fever. If it is, there's no point in doing any actual work.

And even though Luna says it, we are not really devils either. We are not monsters. Soulless, yes, but monsters, no. We are not fantastical beasts strung together by human belief. That isn't possible. Even the mutts and the fae surrounding us in the arena aren't magical, they're just pieces of scientific atrocities. We are just humans, driven by hormones and reactions happening in the dark recesses of our brains. If I could have sold my soul, I would have. Instead, it just left, hanging on Will's coattails, leaving me empty.

Elise wants us to leave her in peace after we finish mutilating her ally. At least Xaa agrees with me that we cannot do that. We can't just let them walk away. We're not devils, but we know that they have to die. Xaa turning as we start to finish off the other girl is the start of a great plan. The girl on the floor first and then Elise and then the other one. One after another.

In my dark fantasy, I almost forgot the girl on the ground needed to be killed first. She starts talking.

The girl before us, bloodied and bruised, begs to be forced into hell. It's not worth telling her that there's no such thing, that her fears of damnation are holy unfounded. She talks of gods and punishment, and all I can do is eye her silently.

I've never believed in any of that shit. It's not real. If her fear is judgement from above, she's ignoring the judgement in the real world. I want to scream and tell her to get up, to fight back. I want to tell her that heaven and hell aren't real and she's finding punishment in all the wrong places.

But we all have our own delusions I guess. Xaa thinks she's an empress. Luna thinks she's a devil. And I keep telling myself that I will be able to feel something after this next strike even though none of my other attacks made me feel anything. So I don't tell her that her fairytales aren't real.

I've never been good with deathbeds. My parents are always good at sitting next to people as they die. I'm better with the silence that comes after. But I remember what they do. I should crouch down next to her and speak in soft overtones, telling her that it will be alright, that there's something after life that will right her wrongs. It's what my parents trained me to do. It's a lie. And after Will walking out on me despite agreeing that night on the rooftop that we will stand together in here, I'm no longer in the mood for lying, but I won't rip her fantasy away.

Even though Luna and Xaa try to make me like them, I'm not cruel. Killing Quentin was quick, I knew how not to make it torturous. I'm not in the business of making this girl I don't know feel pain.

So I ready my spear once more, standing above the girl, my feet wet in a puddle of her blood. I don't speak reassuringly like my parents and I don't crouch next to her deathbed to help her through remorse. Instead, I say a few quick words before I bring my spear down on her.

"You have other things to worry about besides divine punishment."

[attacks hespie with festerwood spear]
41o9dfhoQkspear
[Shallow Cut on Right Bicep -- 3.5 damage]