supermix — arcadia & dante

Honest, I was going to call Oli back after they cancelled Young Love, but I guess I got busy? Something something my schedule didn’t line up with hers and then a week became a month and by then enough time had passed for the fluttering in my chest to soften, melted butter over my heart. Anyway, a girl that gorgeous wouldn’t have a hard time finding a rebound – even if they’re not as amazing as me. Hopefully she’s not too hung up about it!

Also, like, as if I would ever be seen doing the chasing? That’s so embarrassing. If they wanted to, they would, you agree? I wish her all the best though, truly! Honestly, I kinda miss all of those silly teenaged heartthrobs. My little adopted, slightly incestuous family for that brief moment in time. That entire show feels like a fever dream when I look back on it. I still have to remind myself it even happened at all, but of course it did, tingling chapped lips and all. Now I’ve got a new publicist and brand deals coming out of my ears and two plus two equals four means I’m being forced to rock up to teeny-bopper parties for D-lister wannabes.

I have no idea who’s throwing this gatho, but cosmic forces are keeping my cup filled to the brim and people are smiling at me like they know exactly who I am and so, I guess I can stay a while longer. Some guy generously offers me a joint and the stench of the fumes burns my nostrils. It takes all of my self-control not to cough right back in their face, ‘cause like, gross. Be original.

I decline politely, perfect smile of pearly white teeth on display and pepper empty words of endearment into the air as I plan my escape route. The garden looks as good a retreat as anywhere; I slip away when the boy turns his back to take another drag.

The quiet shocks me, the contrast from the noise inside jarring. There’s enough people around to not completely throw me off-balance, but the emptiness out here saps some of my energy. It’s always been like this – the shadow of solitude always lingering at the edge of my consciousness, ready to remind me I’m no invincible being.

I drink to quell the discomfort, draining my cup fully. It helps a little.

I need a refill.

It’s a good thing my cup is suddenly empty, because in the time it takes me to scull my drink and turn around to head back inside for a top-up, I’m walking straight into a soft body that would have ended up with watered down vodka all over her blouse and required an emergency outfit change.

Hmmm. On second thought...

“Oh shit, I’m sorry –”

I look down at the girl, which isn’t hard to do considering I’m two inches taller and worlds more confident. I watch her eyes widen in recognition and my face breaks into a wolfish, surveying grin. She’s cute! I tell her as much – she deserves to know!

“Hahaha, you’re cute! But don’t worry, I can handle it. You’re not the first girl to fall for me.” I giggle at that, hitting an octave wayyyyy higher than my usual register, and so fuck, I’m tipsier than I thought. The world sways a little with the realisation, and I reach out to grip her shoulders and keep myself upright. Very smooth if I do say so myself.

“It’s kinda cold out here, right?” My hand slips from her shoulder and finds her palm, clammy and shaking and entirely too cute. “I was just about to head back inside for a refill.” I dangle my cup in front of her face as evidence. My eyes glitter golden with the secrets of the universe. “Wanna come with?”