𝖋𝖆𝖊 forgotten land | u.l.v.w (day 5)

U L Y S S E S.

After a brief stint to make some distance in the skies, we're back on the ground. The darkness seems to stay in the canopy forest. Shimmers of light flash from the sky every now and then as we push through. I'd like to think we're making decent mileage in the arena. Perry, Larissa, and Bellamy have found us not once but twice in the past two days, and after the incident last night, the last thing I want to do is step another foot in Perry's direction.

Yeah, yeah. I know. Foot joke… still untimely given what I did. But if she can't hear me, I don't think it counts.

Standing beside Torian, I watch his sunny pendant bounce back and forth on his chest. He killed someone today, too. Shit, I haven't even spoken to him about it. I haven't spoken to either of them since they left Caspian. Torian was relatively quiet at the moment, but even from the distance I was at, Jayson was much more distraught. There's a hard brave exterior to him, a shell that cracked with tears rolling down his eyes. I think he might need more time before I reach out.

"You did a pretty brave thing there. I know you didn't want to-- and you shouldn't have to. But you did." I gave him the sun pendant on the first night because he is the sunshine of our group. The pride and joy. If one of us got our grades or awards on the refrigerator door, it's him. But now, he's glooming. Today eclipsed him, a shining star meant to exist in the daylight now caught out by night.

"It didn't help."

"You're right. It didn't fix what happened to Caspian, but it helped make sure you're still here. And I'm still here. And Jayson." There's a question that I want to ask him, but I'm not sure he's even ready to think about what it means to say yes or no to it.

"I guess, but I probably should've hit the other guy, right? For revenge, or whatever." The smile doesn't come. No smile, no scientific facts, no nothing.

The w-word. I'm gonna ask him about the w-word."Look, Torian– it's not about revenge. It's about surviving. We've seen how this ends ninety-three times for however the fuck many people that is. Plus the eight who've died here. I don't want to be tough on you, but I've gotta ask if you want to win and go home or not?"

"Of course I want to go home, but is that realistic? Me?? Everyone else wants the same thing."

No no no no no no, Torian! Do more than just want it– manifest it! "Back at home, I had this one friend of mine, and his cousin told me that there's a one-in-a-trillion chance that if you throw your hand against this tree, the atoms in your hand will let it fly right through." I throw my hand against one of the forest trees. Of course, it doesn't work, and I see the look on Torian's face saying ..., but there's more to the story. "That's physics. That's science. It could happen, right? Statistics, scenarios. There's a scenario where you win. Big victor Torian Vice. That might involve hurting people. You're like sunshine, my guy. Nothing on this world compares to you. The sun is gonna outlast every one of us on earth. It sounds stupid, but just believe in yourself."

…I think I want him to win more than I want it for myself…

"That was a flawed physics argument, but I can't deny what you said about statistics. It's not impossible, it just feels impossible. A lot of people hope and believe, but die anyway. Emotions won't save me."

"I think you can win, personally. I think people underestimate you because you're young. But people like Jayson and I know the truth. You've got what it takes to do good things. The sun grows plants, keeps us warm, the gravity to it keeps us together." Yeah… I've been listening to Torian's spiels over the last few days.

"Thanks…"

The silence tells me that he's heard enough. Hopefully, he'll believe in himself a little bit more now, too.

---

We stop at some point in the night. I can't really tell when the moon has been in the same place in the sky for hours. Torian takes some time to rest while Jayson and I stand watch. We snuggled a little bit last night, but today, I think we both might need it some more.

"Rough day, yeah?"

Jayson talks about how there's not a lot of time left in the Games. On average, they last eight or nine days. We're on, what, five? Jayson says it first, "I'm tired of waiting."

"Waiting for what?" I know and he does too, but we're both coy about the subject. I turn my cheek a little playfully and stare out at the trees. "Waiting for the sun to come up, waiting for the sky to fall, waiting for the-" Hook, line, sinker, he makes the first move. A kiss to the cheek (I thought his evasive ass would never.)

"Ahh… waiting for a kiss." I turn around and one-up him with a kiss on the lips and then some. I pull back and sigh. "I'm gonna have to make you wait another second, Jayson. I have to do some gay shit out back."

I hop up and skip off to the trees behind our camp. No, don't get dirty. I'm just taking another one of those rainbow pisses.

I won't lie… I'm a little smitten! Jayson gets sweeter every second I spend with him. Of course, just like he said, that's limited now. Days? Hours? Minutes left with one another? The stream of rainbow piss subsides and I latch the trousers together again. Really, just an extra step in the process of my night with Jay-

"Hello?"

Torian and Jayson are nowhere to be found.

"Jayson?" Their gryphons are gone, too.

"Sunshine?" Nothing.

"Come with us!"

The voices glow yellow. They repeat their phrase, Come with us. Come with us.

"Okay! Okay! Don't get on my ass about it. I'm coming."

Against my better judgment, I follow them. They lead us back to the Cornucopia, where everything started. There's red petals everywhere, and the blood of those we fought to secure the Cornucopia for our alliance flies through the wind like chipped, dried-up paint. Sixteen alive by day five (rhymes, click your heels for good luck!) doesn't satisfy the Gamemakers, probably.

Of course, there's others by the time we make it to the clearing. Okay… okay, if memory serves me right: Vallen, Will, and… Luna? District Three, District Twelve, and District Two, respectively.

Thorns soar from the ground, keeping us from getting out. The traitor pixies fly further to the center, where a creature that's certainly not another tribute lurks. It speaks: pay your price. There are bags between us, but only three. Four minus three… one of us isn't going to get a bag. One of us is going to die. I pull the jar that I'd gotten as a gift, dipping my sword in for some good luck. Judging by my confidence in Torian's judgments, it's acid. Caspian's dead and Torian's not here right now. I don't have the confidence of a kill yet. Gotta add some cushion to these odds.

The creature in the back steps forward, the flora enveloping her a clear misdirection. She'll certainly be a participant in this battle.

I raise my sword, dripped in a toxic green, toward the others. "Well…" I'll make the first move, I suppose. I move in Luna's direction. Attacking District Two has sort of become my brand, what with Perry and I having two standoffs cut short now. "Well, what the hell." I tug at my pendant, the moon. Hopefully Mr. Sunshine's okay. I want to tug at something else, too, but Jayson might have to wait.

I swing at her full force.