a desire to shine | {lysander/leo}

There was a time in Leo's life when he vowed never to return to the Capitol. Of course, that felt like another lifetime ago now, looking back on it. They'd still been so young then, Leo and his sisters, still so idealistic as to think their father wanted anything to do with them. Maybe he had for a time. Now that Leo was older, he understood more just how toxic his father's relationship with Glamour Kinkade truly was- the stark age difference, the fact that the same Games Leo's father won also happened to be ran by Glamour himself. It was more blatantly obvious now that his manipulations were at least partially to blame for their father's absence in the years to come.

And then there was the whole phase where they- well, mostly himself and India- obsessed over their father from afar. Their mother explained that it was mor difficult to make mistakes when one wasn't around, but for a time they saw him as this unattainable idea- a concept they all had a direct connection to despite a lingering feeling that they weren't meant to have it. It'd turned them against each other, kept them all an arm's length apart: maybe the reason father stayed gone is because there were too many people and not enough love. If that was the case, each of them wanted to be the one who he chose to deserve it when he finally came back some day.

And then the day never came.

Eventually, it wasn't even about gaining their father's approval anymore. Leo realized one day that he was doing things with the specific intention of outdoing his sister, and she the same to him. This all reached a head after Leo was named District Four's Career of the Year and India vowed never to speak to him again because of it.

After that is when he'd made the promise to himself: he was done. He'd proven what he needed to prove. To his father, to his sister, to his district, and to himself. Early retirement, he'd jokingly refer to it when he walked past his old center. But carrying around a title like that in a time when District Four was actually becoming well-known for its Games prowess made it difficult to stay away from: he got offers to go and work at some of the most prestigious centers in Four, denied them all. He was offered a position working in the mayor's office, denied that as well. He found himself at a point in his life where he wanted none of the opportunities he'd worked for.

And then another call came, the last one probably, from a Capitol producer interested in making a show where a panel of experts reviewed past Hunger Games performances and ranked tributes in a given Games. He thought the idea was silly at first, but after some persistent follow-up calls, he'd eventually agreed that if the funding could be secured, he was in. And that meant a lot of things, but most notably, it meant that he was going back to the Capitol.

Particularly, the producer had the brilliant idea of the whole team crashing a sponsorship banquet with the hope of establishing some connections and making some deals. Leo was desperately uncomfortable with the potential of his father walking in at any point to grab a cocktail on his way home, only to incidentally bump into his estranged son. But, there Leo was anyway, dressed in the best-tailored suit he owned and hiding out at the corner of the bar, drinking a glass of iced water and waiting for the evening to end. All around him, people more important than him mingled and laughed. He saw checks being signed and hands being shaken, he saw noncommittal shrugs and heard blatantly honest no thank you's.

He leaned over to the closest person to him, a breath-taking victor from Five named Lysander.

"A bit intense in here, huh?"