Alice Archer// d1 // cbd1 done

A L I C E.

Slut!

That is what they call me.

Never to my face but behind closed doors and fleeted whispers when I walk down the hallway. They all have their loud opinions, and I will never be able to change their mind so why not at least give them something to talk about.

A whirlwind of emotions, hopping from one relationship to the next. Pretending my entire life revolves around the people I date for I have no personality of my own. Ever shifting and ever growing, yet my group of friends stay the same. The ones who know me when I do not know myself. The ones that pick me off of bathroom floors in expensive clubs.

I am a perfect storm and clear blue skies all at once.

Holding onto a fantasy of what I am supposed to be, but it is never good enough. For as long as I play the part they cannot touch who I really am. Let them whisper nasty screams, let them decide who I am, let them believe they have the right to judge over my life.

Everyone knows me but I am still trying to find myself amongst carnage that seems to follow wherever I go. Even when all my demons were nothing more than shadows, I still struggle to find the light.

Maybe one day I will fill the blank pages when I finally find my wonderland, my true escape.

Table: Mattio