michael jesudason. six. done

"You know, I only like you for the test grades."

Right. He's laid on my chest, and the chemistry textbook is on the other side of the room, pages as smooth as it was when first bought. J hasn't touched that thing a single day in his academic life. He uses me, which has worked, the creases he's caused in my parent's carefully crafted plan for life show ruin. No notes, but a living person has opened up the neat, crisp hardcover and absorbed the contents of my life. With care, to my surprise. Before we had been assigned as lab partners, Jimmy Garner was always a crap-shoot of an academic, a fraud, phony. That there's no aspirations behind his snappy attitude and back-handed compliments.

But what defines aspiration? Occupational focus? A life goal?

My parents have always said that I need to get good grades. To be happy and have a family one day. Get old, work at some clinic and follow the brick roads and carbon-copy homes that Panem has so generously formed for us.

My hand rests in the nest of ginger that tops his head. We finished studying an hour ago, but he says he's got to finish this chapter. He's reading something, which is a start, but it's the dummies manual for tennis - all because he wants to beat me at one point.

J's ego can't handle losing a tennis match, let alone falling in love. 

Within deep tangles, my hands don't only hold his hair, but a layer of confidentiality his sister doesn't have. He's described it as "a break from the responsibility of a brother." As if having someone like Jillian - an unwavering beacon of support - is the worst thing ever. I wish a Jillian was in my corner in my life- someone who supported my emotions, choices, feelings. Mom and Dad think I spend too much time with Jimmy, and he's a bad influence.

---

- jimmy's little boo thang!
- they aren't... anything official, they just have a very close relationship. jimmy doesn't like labels and michael's parents wouldn't accept of it regardless. they want him to focus on studies.
- smart, helpful, stuck in this place where he can't decide between family and authenticity
- jimmy's a main cause of this - having feelings as rich as his for jimmy really challenges his family's desires and how michael thinks of those expectations.
- jealous of jimmy having such a close bond with at least a family member like jillian. wishes he had someone to confide in like that. thought he had that until jimmy got reaped and has little faith in his ability to return home.
- 15, plays tennis (father's sport passed down).