the initial aftermath [benchwarmers, day 2]

My axe has the last word, and when the thing goes down, it doesn't come back up. My heart is pounding in my chest, and my hands are trembling. The world around me seemed to move in a blur as my mind and body fought to reconnect. It was hard to process what had just happened. It was hard to put into words how I was feeling. I wasn't sure what was the right thing to feel. Should I feel triumphant? After all, the threat had been neutralised, and no real blood had been spilled.

But, it was hard to feel triumphant when my blood pounded in my veins as the adrenaline of the fight slowly began to wane. And as the haze begins to fade, I became keenly aware of the fact that I had struck without hesitation. In fact, I had attacked with the need—no, the desire—to see the thing fall. I had erupted into violence without so much as a second thought, so quickly, so easily that it made me wonder just how easily I would strike at the first tributes who crossed mine and Jimmy's path.

It made me feel sick.

Taking a step back, I let my axe slip from my hands, jumping at the sound of metal hitting cement. I was going to be sick.

"Okay, I hate to admit it, but uhhh, you two were really helpful... Truce?" My gaze moves from my axe to Sunrise's partner. I blink at him, unable to form words. "Alright, fine, I guess," Jimmy answers for us, and Sunrises partner moves away with the plan to look through the area to find anything that might be useful. turning towards Jimmy, I meet his gaze, smiling at him a little as I fought to control the tremble in my hands.

Walking over to him, I tuck my hair behind my ears, my eyes examining the place on his arm where the thing had got him. "Are you okay?" My voice is unsteady, and I clear my throat, taking his arm gently in my hands. From the corner of my eye I watch Sunrise, vary much aware that even though he isn't perceived as a threat, it didn't mean he wouldn't take advantage of this situation and attempt to cement his position in this game. "It's only shallow; I have a bandage in my bag. I'll wrap it for you." Carefully dropping his arm, I search through my bag, fishing out my first aid kit. "We should clean it first— that's what Fl- that's what they taught us to do." I choke on Flynn's name; every time I spoke his name, it felt as though I was slapping Jimmy in the face. A reminder of how the scales were tipping in my direction.

"I'll find something to clean it with."