i'll leave you words ; tavi & arlo ending

I never intended to grow old.

There is not a world where Tavi Anemos goes gray, where his skin is worn with wrinkles and smile lines instead of weeping gashes. I was born with tragedy in my veins, and I’ve spent fifteen years burning through it. The fact that I’ve made it this far is a miracle.

Do not mourn for me, I’ll spurn your pity.

I’m not dying alone.

I should have. I always thought I would.

But I am not alone.

Dead before I slump to the ground, knees splashing in a pool of my own blood, I keep breathing. In spite of it all, I keep breathing. ”Oh, this?” My hands clutch the place I have come undone, I feel my life slipping between my fingers. It’s almost warm enough that I could believe it was good. ”I’ll walk it off. Give me a second to catch my breath.” I’m baring my teeth, more grimace than grin, at Arlo because he must know I’m lying.

For once, at the very end, it is obvious. ”We’ll get back out there. We’ll burn this place to the ground.” My vision swims, inky black veins spidering in the corners of my vision. I make a thousand promises I can’t keep, all for the excuse to keep talking. Because I’m scared that if I stop, I’ll never get to speak to him again. ”‘Cause I’m the only one who can put up with you.”

I let go of my own skin, no longer trying to hold it together. There’s no point as it doesn’t hurt anymore. It’s hard to believe it ever did. I hold out my hands instead, such a deep crimson they’re black until they catch the light. My eyes scan the length of Arlo, committing every feature to memory. ”The Nothing that comes after this, I’ll wait for you there. Just as I am.” Palms outstretched, impatiently awaiting his, ”We’ll walk into oblivion together. Alright?”

Boys like us aren’t meant for surviving. ”Good thing I didn’t die here, right?” I’m bitter. I’m angry. I’m scared. I’m nothing at all, ”That we have more time. I’d hate to leave you alone so soon.” Cold lips, heavy tongue. Somehow I find the strength to speak, ”You know I’ve never apologized to anyone and actually meant it” I laugh, wet with the blood bubbling up my throat, ”Never said please either.”

I’ve still got a mask on my face, half shattered with the effort of maintaining the facade. I don’t let it fall, I don’t think Arlo would recognize me without it. I don’t even know who the boy beneath it is, I’ve spent far too little time with him. ”You broke my perfect record. I’ll hate you forever.”

What's that then, I wonder, that falls at our feet. Shattering in front of us. Fragments soaked in my own blood.

I lean in, I kiss him before I whisper. ”I’m so fucking sorry, Arlo.”