you're gay /kaine + alain
Nov 23, 2023 4:31:39 GMT -5
Post by ✌ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ on Nov 23, 2023 4:31:39 GMT -5
k a i n e .
"and somewhere in
the mess around
my body it begins"
I never was fond of stories that needed to shove a moral in your face. Didn't ever like karma tropes either. Sometimes the bad guy wins and then just keeps on winning, the hero killed off ages ago.
It's strangely satisfying though watching our small society crumble just because we're stuck living by candlelight. The blizzard took our power out the other day and the castle's been so quiet since. I never realised just how loud the hum of all that electricity was.
I've been living with silence for a long time now, we're good friends at this point so it hardly bothers me. My schedule's barely changed. I was already skipping classes and mainly only ever came down for dinner in the weeks leading up to the outage but that's normal around this time of year for me.
People just assume I'm working on my writing. Sort of, I think I spent a whole week staring at the ceiling though. It's either part of the process at this point, or complete apathy for my impending deadline.
Everyone else seems to be unravelling too in the shared dark.
Except Ignis. His particular hobby's almost been easier for him. There's fresh bruising just behind my ear, a ringing, hollow feeling in my head. I can feel my brain loose in there, if I turn my head too quickly. It bounces around, makes it hard to think properly, to write. I look at the candle flame on the table in front of me for too long and my jaw starts to hurt from trying to hold everything together.
It's the kind of pain where you wish you could just cut a hole in your skin and remove it. That'd be good actually, just self-lobotomise I guess. Probably shouldn't joke about that, I'm not sure how many more hits on the head I can take before that's my reality.
The library's more full tonight, it's been dead empty lately with the lack of classes, usually it's just me. People have started to gather in groups though, as if they can't handle the idea of being in the dark alone.
I think I hate everyone in the room right now just for breathing too loudly, I wish they'd shut up. Every sound feels like it's being shouted in my ear and I know this pain isn't normal, that it's enough that I really should go see Kim. The very idea of that makes me want to force open a second-floor window though and start running across the newly minted snow banks.
They stand so tall now that only a sliver of light can be seen through the first floor windows and the snow hasn't let up even once.
I press my fingers into the bruise, so hard, until it hurts more than my brain and my carpet-burned elbows combined. A soft hiss of pain slips from my teeth like a secret I didn't know I was keeping. It takes me a moment to realise I'm bent forwards over the table now in pain, head resting in my left hand, my journal laid bare in front of me.
I was writing about the quiet and the way it settled over the castle, the way it haunts. I wanted to be a storyteller when I was little but I had to settle on writing, too many ghosts on my chest, their fingers pressed against my lips, keeping them from letting words out.
But I can't remember the train of thought anymore, tea kettle pain whistling in my ear, loud and obnoxious. My fingers curl up into the hem of my hair, squeezing. Hate settles down against my knuckles.
Then there's a body pulling the chair out across from me and I'm halfway to thinking it's ignis coming back for more out of sheer boredom when I look up only to see Alain instead.
Perfect, charming Alain, usually surrounded by a flock of adoring friends, we couldn't be further apart on the social ladder. I just stare at him for a long moment, a brow arched in mild surprise. I let my fingers fall away slowly from the bruise, so carefully casual that it could seem like I was only scratching an itch.
"Aaal...len," I acknowledge him, wincing at the loudness of my own voice in my head. I sound rusty, coarse like sand paper but that's fine, the last thing I want to do is sound inviting.
"nnn-ne-need sss-some-something?"
Because I can't fathom why else he'd be here.
