doctor doctor, anything please? // LK day 4

The memory of a knife sticking into Tigs’ arm hurts to think about. More than it probably should. I’d regretted it the moment I pulled the metal out and the blood had run freely, no match for my hands desperately trying to staunch the flow.

Who did I think I was, thinking I could save anyone other than myself? My hands are too far stained for even that anymore.

I make myself useful in the best way I can by carrying Tigs all the way down to the medical wing. The journey is all too familiar now, and I’d be more than content to just camp out in the Training Room for the rest of the Games if it meant we didn’t have to haul ourselves up twelve entire flights every second hour. I make her comfortable in one of the vacant beds, grimacing at the dried blood of another person staining the once-white bedsheets. Without missing a beat, Tigs directs us around the room, far too patient for someone who was bleeding out on the floor. Far too forgiving to me when I was the reason for it.

“Medicine was never really my forte,” I mumble softly in lieu of an apology, half-ashamed to even admit it. Half my time had been spent coercing the other Careers into being my friends and doing my bidding. Now, staring down the face of death with bandages and antiseptic clutched between my fingertips, it seems so shallow to even think about. “Maybe Ness should take the lead on this…” It’s not that I don’t want to help; it’s because I want to help so badly that I force myself into the corner of the room where I can’t make things worse.

scavenges medicine cabinets

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1 | 5ft. Bandages

Snippets of the conversation between Tigs and Nessa catch in the air, and I try my best to tune it out. They both shared a common thread in Flynn Garner, and maybe it should feel intimidating to me that they had something to bond over, but it didn’t. I knew where I stood with the two girls – individual and as a collective. Today’s fight had shown we were as good of a team as any. The space inside my chest tightens as it fills with Nessa’s presence, a comfortable crowdedness in the cavity.

I stall for a while, pretending to rummage through my bag when I can clearly see the wine bottle poking out of the unzipped flap. After what I deem is long enough, I pull it out and return to the side of the bed, unscrewing the lid and bringing the bottle to Tigs’ mouth, wrapping her hands carefully around the bottleneck.

“Drink up!” I exclaim cheerfully, keeping memories of parties from home and late night shenanigans close by.

scavenges diagnostic equipment room

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7 | X-Ray Vest [+2 Chest]