Amari Truus D10 {done}

Amari Truus
Fifteen
District Ten
She/Her
Daughter to Alwyn Truus
Niece to Esme (68th) and Kraygon Truus (77th)

Ma and Pa always said to do everything with my whole heart without fear of what others may say, and for the longest time, I wasn't sure what they meant. Even now, it's still hard to understand, but I know it's important to not let anyone hold me back from doing what I love. From a young age I always wanted to become a dancer, but being from district ten, I never thought it was possible until I learned it was. All I had to do was listen to the music produced by nature.

Running barefoot on the grass listening to the music of the world - the birds singing, a sudden gust of wind, rain pitter-pattering against leaves and everything else, the rustling of leaves as animals move by - it's all music of the world to anyone who listens. It's very freeing, and it let me fully learn to appreciate life and everything it has to offer. It's a beautiful place. Rolling around on the grass watching the sunrise every morning as it paints the sky shades of orange and red. Becoming one with the earth is amazing. It's my home, and I always want to respect it because without it, I know I wouldn't be here. Not everyone understands, and that's okay. It was something I had to learn.

At night, everything comes to life. Gathering around a bonfire with friends, we bring old buckets, some pots and pans, and some wooden spoons to have a good ole time. Making music with what we have, even if it's just the sound of a beating drum, it gives us joy. It makes my heart feel alive, it makes me feel like I'm one with the world especially on the nights rain is pouring down. Nature is my home, it's where I belong, it's what I've always wanted for my heart and soul. A fire isn't always needed - the stars light the way, they give us everything we need - as long as I arrive home before it's too late. First time I was late for my curfew, Pa wouldn't let me go see my friends for a week. I earned it, though, and I respect him for doing what he had to do, but sometimes it's easy to get lost in time when I'm feeling at home and like nothing matters.

I've always grew my own garden filled with various plants and vegetables. I think it's important to help contribute to my family. Not having lot of money is hard, yet having this garden, something so small, helps out tremendously. It makes everything easier, and if I ever have extra, the market always allows some trades. Bartering is a skill that Pa taught me, he says it's always needed especially when going to the market, but sometimes it still isn't enough. A handful of carrots or bell peppers for a loaf of bread doesn't always seem fair. Everyone needs to survive though, and who am I to deny them of that? Sometimes the veggies are plentiful, and people want them for cheese. It's not my favorite food in the world, but it's enough to help us survive. Ma and Pa have always made sure my needs are met, and for that I am grateful, but there's plenty of times I fall asleep with my stomach growling, begging for more.

I have a dog, his names is Socks. He goes with me everywhere I go, and we run and play together. He's given me purpose in life. Pa didn't want the dog, and he initially told me to get rid of it, but I couldn't just sit the poor, hungry animal down and turn away from him. He found me while I was playing, and I'll never forget the first moment he wagged his tail and gave me a kiss. It took some begging, and I promised Pa I'd always take care of him and clean up after him. Ma took my side, and I was able to help me out, and Pa finally agreed. Truth be told, I think he's come around to it because I've watched him play with Socks so many times now. It's not like I brought home a snake or something. Snakes are beautiful, but they're also dangerous, and I would never get close enough to pick one up. Don't want to get bit.

I used to work in the barn helping my grandpa as he needs a helping hand. It was never fun, though. Getting close to the animals and then watching them get sold. It's why my protein comes from mostly legumes. I befriended a cow, and one day she was gone. The conversation with Pa was heartbreaking. Spent many days sobbing and crying uncontrollably. Pa said it had to be done, but I don't believe him. I'll never believe him. Animals are our friends, and nobody should ever have to witness this. Maybe some people enjoy it. I am not one of them, though. I'll never fault anyone for doing what they have to do, but they cannot fault me or belittle me for not partaking. Knowing what happened crushed my soul, and now I have a desire to mend it. I'd love to create a sanctuary one day for all the animals and give them the life they deserve.

It's hard wearing my emotions on my sleeve. It's so easy to cry, so easy to get hurt. I genuinely care for all living things, and I've learned that sometimes human beings are mean. I've been hurt many times, and Pa tries getting me to assert myself and stand up for myself, but it never works that way, and any time I've tried, people only laugh harder. I can't help that I want to befriend everyone, and that my heart is full of love to spread around for everyone to see. People don't always see it that way. It's hard to say no out of fear of letting someone down. It's hard to focus on anything that could upset someone else. People walk all over me, and I hate it, but I don't know how to fix it because every time I've tried, it only ends worse for me. I always put a brave face on, and I wear a mask to hide my true feelings. It doesn't stop the heartbreak. Socks has saved me in so many ways. People say animals can't communicate, but I've learned that they do communicate to those who choose to listen.

But at the end of the day, I know who I am, and that's what matters. I just try to live true to myself and carry my strengths and flaws with pride. It's easy to show my strengths, and it's hard showing my flaws and trying to love them. I'm unapologetically me though, and that's all I can be. Pa always said to do everything with my whole heart, and that's what I do. I love people, animals, nature, and it hurts when someone is suffering. Some nights I've cried with others because they're hurting. It's hard to explain, but it's part of me. Sometimes I'm standing in a crowd and start crying for what feels like no reason. Sometimes I feel joy and happiness for no reason. I suck in the emotions and energy of those around me, and for a while, I hated it, but it's part of who I am, and I love all of me. I have my flaws, but I learned to work with them instead of against them, and that has made the difference.

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