eið // dot&drífa

Its been months since you had even thought about hespie. to think that you lost her in the grasps of the games, and how you were almost taken yourself. you could still remember the deep kiss you shared with her right before she was swept away by peacekeepers. you asked your sisters to think of her fondly.

and now she is a distant memory.

what isnt though is the sound in the forest late in night. you spent even more time, mostly gathering firewood and looking at the moon hoping that you would get an answer one day to the convoluted life you led. the air stings for a moment, the cold creeps up your neck and scrapes against the hair that rests there. you feel like you can hear hespies voice, but you do not turn around, because you dont believe in ghosts like that.

shed probably laugh at you for being so nonsensical.

that was her favorite part about you. she asked all the time if there was something more to your past, and you did not know. you only could remember so much, home was a distant memory. you had been living with your new found family for almost four years now. you only knew where your parents were, but you did not dare cross their paths. the obligation they would push on you would be enough to make anyone run for the hills.

they didnt have your best interests in mind, in fact, as you got older, you did notice just how different you were from them. your hair didnt even match theres. you felt it was best to run away from those problems, and they had to have agreed, because they did not chase.

you say silent prayers to yourself as you try not to think about the sound of the wind. it sounds too much like memories that you would rather forget. the snow crunches under your feet, and you pull the cardigan close around you as you try not to let the stinging pain of frostbite linger.

you stop at the riverbank for a moment, the sound of the water rumbling through the thin sheet of ice. there had been a hole already made, cut deep enough for someone to probably jump into the water. you think about it for a moment, a polar plunge would probably clear your mind just enough. you dont do it, because you know you do not know how to swim. you miss hespie, but you were not willing to die to be with her again.

not yet at the least.

when you drop the bucket into the water, you stay still, the wind creeping up on you again just enough to feel like you were being watched. your hands are slow and methodical as you can finally hear more than just the wind.

something cracks behind you, and the knife that you had been given by one of your sisters is unsheathed. if the peacekeepers knew you had such a thing, you would have been whipped in the middle of the square. you do not reveal it, but you do stand and turn around.

a girl stands in front of you, and your eyes cannot orient right away. you blink, but they still do not focus. you shake your head and place the knife back in its holder.

the blonde hair, the face.

are you staring into a mirror in the middle of the forest.

your arms cross for a moment, you are apprehensive as you try to hold your breath long enough to wake up from whatever nightmare this could have been.

they speak.

you are speechless.

"uh, hello?"

you are still as nonchalant as always.

this was like meeting hespie all over again.

she was probably laughing at you straight from hell.