fionn cassidy / district 6 / wip
Apr 20, 2024 21:05:01 GMT -5
Post by sucy on Apr 20, 2024 21:05:01 GMT -5
16: you've made it most of the way through. well done. what have you got to show for it? a handful of exes, grades down the toilet, a new baby sister and an alcohol dependency. you look more like your father everyday, so says your mother. she doesn't mean it as a compliment, but you'd never take it as one anyway.
you're surrounded on the daily by people taking up the good fight in your father's name these days. seems like he's finally gotten his little revolution off the ground. long gone are the days he spent with you playing toy soldiers.
15:
14: your father's a dirty cheater. for all of his proselytising about the greater good, what's he doing on the small scale? absolutely nothing. he hasn't done anything for you in years. he still dotes on your sister; she's still so young, after all, she can't see through the bullshit. you see her for what she was now: an attempt to save the marriage. but her arrival did nothing for your parents' relationship, only highlight the chasm between them. they love her, they dote on her, but they only ever do it separately.
this same year, you gain a deeper understanding of what that means, of how you've internalised the compartmentalised love in your house. growth spurts happen in quick succession, baby fat falls away. your father's son indeed, it's easy to say yes to every date and love note sent your way. you understand him, for better or worse. but you're your mother's child too: you're more of a romantic than he ever was. you love solitarily, closed off, quietly, but intensely. one object at a time, love stews in your stomach, delicious and warming until the spoonful that sets you over the edge -- sets love on a course up your throat, onto the ground in front of you. a mess on the floor, bits of heart stinking of alcohol, all too much too soon.