over cigarettes and under shining stars [Hafen&Benson]

Tired was the only way to describe how I felt watching the sun set and the cameras with their adoring fans retreat for the night. Around me some of the tributes had grouped together whilst others remained on their own. I was amongst the latter, alone with the chilly night greeting us in a cruel manner. The humming of the electric fence almost calming as my arms felt heavy resting on my curled-up legs.

The tranquility had to be the quiet before the storm, it was a lesson all of us were taught quickly. If you can hear the crickets chirping at night then you know to beware of the next day. Harsh waves would charge at the coast. The winds would blow the ships until they were lost for good. Chaos always started when everything was quiet.

Some of the others had thought to close their eyes and turn their backs. A luxury I would not give myself even if the aches begged me for even a moments rest. The threat of the boy from seven resurfacing on my mind, the way I had threatened the girl from one. No one was safe, the moment they had put us in the cage we became animals and any of them who though differently of themselves was in denial.

I rested my chin on my knee, allowing myself a little comfort whilst silently observing the rest of the lot. Waiting for someone to do something, just about anything. My mind afraid if I slowed down already, I would lose my tempo even if the games had yet to begin. Afterall it felt like we were already in the arena, playing their game and slowly beginning to destroy each other.

The sky was black now, stars shining in the distance. Another time and another place, I would have found myself laying back and enjoying the night sky. Someday when I was floating at sea, talking to the constellations watching over me…I would know I had made it.

Another lifetime, for it seemed this one might soon come to an end. A truth I was reluctant to face, a fact I had ignored. Persistent to escape in any which way instead of listening to Drea’s final plea.

Save your strength for the arena.

I should have listened. Why didn’t I listen? Fourteen years and I had never learned to listen to Drea even if every time without fail, she was always right.

A tall figure blocked my view of the sky. Before I saw his face, I felt a sharp stab of fear thinking it was the boy from seven on his way to make good on his promise. A sigh of relief as I quickly came to realize it was the boy from three with piercing blue eyes. The kind of color that belonged to the ocean and her waves reigning wild and free. He held out a cigarette for me to take, hesitating wondering what the price would be.

Another one of Drea’s lessons. Never trust any man with beautiful eyes and a charming smile. They always want something, and most of the time it’s never any good. The one warning I took seriously. We all knew how we became lost children in the first place, each one of us the offspring of a sailor and a working girl. Neither of them wanting us, they would dump us at the docks. The boys would grow up to be sailors and more often than not the girls ended up working the piers. A cycle doomed to repeat itself for generations to come.

Drea made me promise to never go near the working girls. I swore on oath on a rusty pistol that I would never do such a thing.

“I don’t got a lighter, and nothin’ I could pay you with either” I briefly turned my head towards him, not wanting to let Fraser out of my sight for too long. Resting my chin back in my hands, I waited for him to leave but he didn’t move an inch.