So, What's to Follow? [Kasia and Maya Post 10th Games/Kiah]

I never looked back. I didn’t want to see what was behind me, those creatures that got the other tributes. I didn’t want to put faces to the crunching, tearing, and screaming. They needed to stay nebulous so that I could convince myself that the sounds weren’t real. I kept running. The sunlight blinded my eyes as I made my way further into the city, only stopping when I tripped on a curb, tumbling onto the sidewalk. It took me a moment to get my bearings, noticing the concrete and glass buildings that surrounded me. No pervasive scents of human waste, no sounds of sewage running above me. Now I smell the flowers and hear the rumbling of cars, and the murmurs of the Capitol’s citizens as they realize who I am. Some were worried about me attacking them, which makes sense after I killed two other kids and left who knows how many others in the sewers to be torn up by monsters. When I turn around, I can only see the door to the sewers bolted shut as dark crimson liquid paints the windows. I somehow made it out.

Peacekeepers came to collect me, and I couldn’t help but think about how I needed to present myself. I shrugged myself out of their grasp yet made no effort to run. A queen doesn’t run from her fate, and I need to hold my head high to show the citizens that I can carry the burden of winning their trials. I couldn’t tell if cameras were around, but that doesn’t matter. There are people in front of me to impress, surrounded by my bodyguards to ensure my safety. I’ve earned this, this has become my right. I couldn’t fully bring myself to use the toilet once I got back to my room from the first night though, not wanting to know where those pipes ended up.  

There was no closing interview, no official wrap-up to close things out. I was simply thrown onto the train back home, without a crown to only add insult to injury. As I sat on a chaise in the lounge care, my thoughts continued to run in my head. It bothers me that they make a show out of out in the beginning, but now that it’s over, what purpose do the Victors serve after the Games? Has the Capitol thought this out? Are we simply reaped to put on a show for the Capitol and nothing more? Is the fight for our survival supposed to illuminate the struggle between the districts at the hands of the Capitol? Yes, I got to live, but was the cost of the other kids worth it?

I felt the absence of Benson, the boy who wore masks of characters to hide his own true feelings. It was nice to have someone else walking on the same path as me; now I felt as if I was alone. Even though I wasn’t, Maya was here with me. Maya seemed distant though; to be frank I couldn’t blame her. We were both guinea pigs for the Capitol’s amusement, only to be tossed aside once we served our purpose. So, what’s to follow? I saw her walk into the car, and I figured that this was as good a time as any, so I approached her, even if she did intimidate me a bit.

“Maya,” I said as I continued, not giving her a moment to respond. “How did you manage to deal with everything after your Games? How did you come to terms with the fact that we had to kill to survive?” My voice almost broke as I asked, unable to contain the whirlwind of emotions that swirled in me.

I can’t help but wonder how this interaction looked from the outside. One killer asked another for help, but I was just a girl, reaching out to the only other person who knew what she’s been through. Maybe Ekta had a point when she said she was “just Ekta”.