bluer than a butterfly // d6 train {97th}

It is not that the curse has been lifted, it is just that they would have to dig up corpses to reap those close to me. The ’every other year’ pattern has broken, ten years too late. It has broken me. Entirely. These aren’t scars that will ever heal. Even the stylists can’t hide them.

Here it is again, another train ride to the Capitol. One shared with two strange kids whose return journey will likely be in a box. Ten years of this. My confidence is faltering every year, there’s been eighteen dead kids after me. That may just round up to twenty this year. At least the routine is consistent, better than what my life has been in-between the Games lately. An occasional trip to Ten. A few shifts at the hospital. The odd secret meeting with the protesters in recent weeks. Being incognito is fun, travelling through Six with a mask, delivering supplies and intel to those who want to save the District. Everyone thinks the strikes have quietened down now but I know better.

The Capitol have fucked me over the past ten years. Filled me trauma and grief. Left behind scars and addictions. It is time I repaid them.

Two girls have been pulled from the bowl by Silva, the new escort pain in the ass. They’re both names that I have never heard before, a relief.

I walk through the automatic sliding door of the carriage with a pinned on confident face. The stylist is here, because he had to paint it on me. Something about the new generation of morphling that makes you look dead. It is a look I have been carrying for a year now, Andal doesn’t like it. Dad doesn’t either, it is why I have not seen him in months but Mom, I can’t get rid of her. My life has really tipped itself on the scales, Mom has not been in my life since I became a victor and suddenly, she is bringing hotpots to my door every other night. It is what happens when a daughter and sister is murdered. Families fall apart and pull together all at once. I am sure Dad has gotten himself tied up in the protests, the last time I saw him was on the picket lines. Hiding somewhere, I hope. I’ll look for him after the Games.

“Sera Keoch. Disappointment to the world, and soon to be you too.”

Sera is the first to introduce herself and just like that, the confidence levels hit the minuses.

”Thanks for clearing that up early, Miss Disappointment. Sadly, we still must mentor you for the next few days so let’s try and pretend to work together? Not waste each other’s time. That’s my first piece of advice as it is not me with the limited time here…” I slide into one of the seats, feeling too real and a little harsh with the blunt words. A sigh rolls after them as my ass finds a little comfort in the cushioned seat.

”Tell us about yourselves?” I ask them, looking over at Carmen who hasn’t spoken yet and then back to Sera. Getting attached to them is a little habit of mine, it all stems back to Robin Keeni. Even the ones I am not related to. May as well add to my infinite heartbreak. ”What makes you think you’re going to be a disappointment?”