Lost in the memory// Sera&Lorraine

Mama sat on the bar stool covered in black sipping a drink that could not have been any good for her.

Usually the center of attention, she had shut it all down. No patrons, no guests and most importantly no singing. The music had faded into whispers of concern behind our mother’s back. Her eyes echoing something genuine none of us had ever seen before, leaving us more frightened of her than ever.

We wondered how long it would last, the mourning over a daughter she never truly loved. A sister ripped away far too soon leaving me regret for what could have been.

“I’m leaving, Sera is having her victory speech…maybe you should meet her, she was the closest thing Circe ever had to a friend” I sighed knowing I would not receive a response. She had been silent only in her wraith and we had been still only out of fear.

A collection of poppies laid in front of Adriana on the wooden countertop. Scratches plaguing the surface, a constant reminder of all emotions that continued to haunt the forsaken place. A stupid tradition that never brought anyone any luck only more ghosts, Circe finally joining the rank of the other Dieu-Le-Veut women for it was clear where she belonged, Bad luck and misery over Victory and fame. Mother was always right; Circe would find her place amongst us one day.

I took the bundle placing them in my bag, the bright orange dull in the face of hopelessness. Good riddance and goodbye but welcoming someone else with a bittersweet smile.

“I’ll make sure she gets them” I promised before shutting the wooden door behind me and making my way towards town, salt air burning in the wound.

The district square began to fill up, families from the tributes gathering in their own separate space. The Murdock’s not even aware that she had another sister, but it was something I had come to terms with. A dream where the two of us would have run around on the beach together, happy, only if things would have been different. A mother who would have kept us both in her loving arms singing as we sat around the fire at night.

Maybe in a different life.

Here in the moment, I gathered with other girls. All of us agreeing to do this together, our own little family paying respects to someone we never truly knew. My mother’s secret had spread over the days and one of the younger girls held tightly onto my arm, a sense of family I had never known before as we listened to a speech by a stranger who just happened to know our sister. A stupid coincidence leading to what I would only hope would be answers soon.

“You guys can head on home” I suggested with a smile once the speech was over “I have some things I want to ask her” I hurried of not leaving much time for them to follow me. Pushing through the crowd of strangers to reach the justice building hoping to gain an audience. The line quickly growing with people who would want to meet district six’s newest victor.

The time went by quickly, my ears picking up on the conversations happening around me. Anxious chatter of what she would be like causing my heart to beat a little faster, my mind telling me to turn around afraid of what she had might say. There was a perfect fantasy I could live, creating my own truth of who my sister was. Maybe it would be enough to live with that fantasy forever.

Soon it was my turn, and the peacekeepers opened the door for me. Sera was smaller than I thought she would be, but then again next to Circe everyone looked like a giant.

“Hi, ummm” the words had left my brain as my hands searched for the flowers in the bag. “Here, our mom wanted you to have these…I’m Lorraine…Circe she…she was my sister, well half-sister” I held the bundle out for her to take. A peace offering, a sign of forgiveness for something that was not out of her control. She was not the one who cut of her head, that was Tide’s fault, and we could not even look his family in the eye. “Congratulations…right?” I continued to ramble with a more than confused look on my face. “Do you mind if I ask you a few questions?”