Avian Marston[D5]

Here there. ^^

In all sections, I would like to have more expounded information or just more information in general, please. They all look short in nature because the sentences are rather small or the paragraphs are not complete (five sentences, at the least). So please add on.

It would help, in your Appearance, if you added either a major physical flaw or many minor flaws (that are not just scars!) to help detract from your character. All characters have physical flaws, you know! So please add some and expound a bit more on Appearance.

Most of your traits picked are either positive or neutral (anti-social or distrusting are neutral unless explained further). Neutral traits are often played off as being 'bad' or 'not wanted'; but, in actuality, neutral traits tend to be those traits that are just socially unacceptable in the context of place; in America, for example, being anti-social is not that desirable but it's not that bad, either. I would like some more definitive negative traits or more expounding on the neutral traits that make it worse than it should be. By negative, think of arrogance, narcissism, traits that most people would be irked/mad at.

History is fine. ^^

You're just missing one letter from the codeword; if and when you have it right, an image will pop up confirming you got it.

Overall on the application, I will ask to check over grammatical mistakes and spelling errors. Some places could have done with commas, and there are common spelling errors. (Comfortable =/= comfurtable).

Please modify your application and reply back to the thread to notify us that you have made the changes. Thanks and welcome to the site!