Rachel Denning D9

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Funny Man
Hunter

[M:-300]

80 POSTS
last seen Aug 13, 2012 18:08:14 GMT -5

Shut up and get UNDEAD!!!!!!

Rachel Denning D9 Nov 15, 2010 20:26:15 GMT -5

Post by Funny Man on Nov 15, 2010 20:26:15 GMT -5

Name: Rachel Denning
Age: 15
Gender: Female
District/Area: District 9
Appearance:

Rachel is very short, only being 4 feet 9 inches. Her hair is long, brownish/blond, and silky. She has highlighted streeks of white going through her hair. She has pale-white skin, with frecles on her face (below the eyes, -next to the nose-). She has pale-ish green eyes that look like pine needles.

Rachel usually wears a white tee-shirt, with a black mockingjay in the middle. She also wears a gray sweat shirt. Rachel wears dark white/light-gray jeans. She wears a bright black braded braclet from her mother. Sometimes she wears glasses to read.

Personality:

Rachel is usualy in a happy mood. She doesn't get along with everyone, but she knows alot of people. She sometimes works at the houuse for the elderly. Rachel is very nice, but you don't want to get on her bad side. She knows how to stop a fight and how to start one. Although she's not very mean.

She can be very nice as in "Oooh! I love kittens!", then she can go "You idiot! Why did you do this?!" *slap slap*. She loves animals, and is a very caring person. She loves to talk, but to boys... well lets just say she's shy. She knows about half of the people in the district, and she has at least helped those people. Although she is very loving and caring, she can brobably beat you down.

Now lets talk about her dark side. She can pumle you if she's angry enough. Also Rachel can take that kitten and throw it out a window, "Thats what you get for scratching me!" Rachel can stomp away if angry, or take a punch to you in the face. Even though she has alot of good things, and some bad things, I, personaly think she's a good person.

History:

Rachel had a normal childhood. Lots of friends, big family. She was safe until she was seven. Some people murdered her dad and aunt (Steve [jk]). Her mom took her to the "safer" part of the district where she lives now.

Rachel started school and met new people. She grew (yet again) normaly for the next three years. Her mom told her about her father's death. Rachel was furious, (not angery) but throwing stuff (chairs and such) furious. She then sat in silence for three days, crying with a blank expression.

Since then she didn't really talk. Now she still tries to forget about the death, and meets new people. Rachel now loves animals, elderly, and people her age. She loves to be in a qiet place in the forest. Rachel likes to play with her friends.

Codeword: muttations
Comments/Other:

I'm still liken pie. |) ←pie

Now it's getting hard to breathe,
With the knife up to your throat.
And it's immposible to see,
Down the barrel of smoke.

Prince Inigo
Retired Staff

[M:-2830]

1,650 POSTS

last seen Jun 4, 2013 23:20:19 GMT -5

Your Rightful King!

Rachel Denning D9 Nov 19, 2010 4:30:56 GMT -5

Post by Prince Inigo on Nov 19, 2010 4:30:56 GMT -5

Hey there. ^^

We'll be needing a bit more information in Appearance and History, as they are looking a bit short due to the sentences being small. Please add onto those sections, though it would be nice to get a bit more into Personality as well.

Please look over your application for spelling errors and grammatical mistakes. There are quite a few of them throughout the application.

I'm not certain if clothing designers in this time would care so much for putting a mockingjay on clothes. I can't really imagine it. Perhaps, if she has the finances, she can have a necklace of it? I can't see a mockingjay on clothing. Don't really know if they were that popular prior to Katniss in the books. Other than that, I would like to see physical flaws on her, please. One major one or a few minor ones (not scars!). You could try to describe the skin, freckles, and eyes in a way that make them more detracting, if you would wish to. They seem to lead on that they could be possible ones, but you would have to explain better on those.

Personality is iffy. You make her out as a very nice person, but she's also violent whenever and for whatever reasons. I will ask to have better explanation for the negative aspect. I can see this as a potential for a negative trait - that she would be willing to throw kittens out the window when angered - but I also feel that anyone could do that if they were peeved enough. To really let us know about her, it would also be best to explain when she is angry enough to do this and, perhaps, add a personality flaw that is more common than her angry bits. Perhaps twist one of her 'positive' traits into something that works against her?

Some people murdered her dad and aunt (Steve [jk]).

To get in more length for History, it would be best to explain why her family was killed, and by who. Perhaps even where they were; because, later, you state that her mother told her about her father's death, but it's left for us to say on where she was at the time. Was she at school, and thus why she didn't know how or who killed her father and aunt? Why was her aunt killed as well, if assuming they don't live in the same household?

She grew (yet again) normaly for the next three years.

Just asking: What's 'normally'? Definition-wise. Families always have some kind of conflict, so not clear on what's 'normal'. I guess little quarrels here and there?

Please reply after making the changes and someone will stop by again.

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