Jedd Alther District 4

Hi Joe!

I'm sorry that we never got to this - it got moved downwards and downwards, causing it to get lost in the endless ocean that is known as the WIP threads. Now let's get started! ^^

---

For appearance, you don't exactly have enough paragraphs. It is said that we require at least two paragraphs for appearance, but by that we mean 5 sentences each. But I'll work off of your other sentences.

Jedd has short brown hair, he spikes up at the front with his gel (He is to poor for gel, do he uses a fish paste material). He has matching eyes, and his friends always tease him about not having earlobes, but they are just very, very small. He has muscles, but focuses on his agility.

Okay, with this, your order of things is like this:
- hair
- eyes that match (color I assume?), combined with being teased about small ears
- smaller muscles

Your second paragraph merely talks about clothing choices. Hopefully, you can see that there's a lot more that you can expand on.

• Is there a lot of hair? Is it thick? Think? Does it tend to get greasy?
  
• What about the eyes? How big are they? It would be best to actually state what color they are.
  
• height? Weight? Mouth? Nose? Muscles in general? You do state that he has muscles, but focuses more on agility. Does this mean that the muscles are undefined?
  
• On clothing choices: Does he have any short-sleeved shirts or shorts? He does live in District 4, and many RP-ers go by the assumption that it gets rather hot in that specific District. What does he wear when on the beach? Why doesn't he wear the patched up shoes on the beach?
  

As you can see, there are a lot of things you can add. But the thing is that I can't find any major flaws. Everyone has at least some flaws in their appearance, be it acne, wrinkles, scars (only grotesque ones count as flaws), etc. I think Jedd needs a bit more expanding on his appearance before he can be accepted.

---

For personality, Jedd seems to be verging on a Gary-Stu. Now, a Gary-Stu is a male character that has no real flaws. He tends to be stoic, but has a friendly and loyal demeanor once one gets to know him. I would suggest reading Luna's guide on Mary-Sues and Gary-Stus.

His hobby is alright, but you have to explain how he acquired this in his history, which I will get to right now.

---

Fish cutting - this is Jedd's job, correct? It seems that you are trying to make him have a knack for de-boning fish. Remember though, that at 6 years old, one's coordination isn't the best - there will definitely be a lot of bones in said fish.

"paid" is spelled incorrectly - remember to use spell check once you're done with your bio.

When ever Jedd has spare time, he practices with his knife, in case he is ever reaped. His mother does not approve, but still allows it. He is the best of his friends with a knife, in both combat and fish-cutting. His mom would be very proud if he won the hunger games.

Now you must remember - District 4 is a Career District. Many parents want their children to be reaped to gain status, power and money. If his mother doesn't approve, you must explain why - It's not a typical thing to think in District 4.

Also, every single parent would be proud if their child won the hunger games, so that is not really necessary.

---

All in all, you need more information because your paragraphs are not long enough, as well as better clarification on your posts.

Once you finish, it is a good idea to look at Thundy's Guide on how Not to Make a Character, to make sure that Jedd is not an example of too many of these rules.

Good luck! Please respond when you have edited the bio.