Lillian Rose Jakob-dis. 12

Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]
Retired Staff

6,346 POSTS
Pronouns: He/Him
last seen Nov 17, 2023 15:15:56 GMT -5

cozy, queer af

Lillian Rose Jakob-dis. 12 Jan 2, 2011 15:48:54 GMT -5

Post by Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy] on Jan 2, 2011 15:48:54 GMT -5

Hi there! First thing, I'm going to direct you to THIS link and insist that you read through the following numbers on that list: #2, #3, #5, #16.

Also, please fix the following things:

1) 5'4" is not really all that tall, so please edit that.

2) You don't really say all that much about her personality that is helpful at all. Is she quiet? Outspoken? Arrogant? Sensitive? Brave? Adventurous? We don't know anything about her, so please give her some clear personality traits and elaborate on them.

3) In some places it's really very difficult to understand what you are trying to say about her because of small errors. Please read through this to make sure that it makes sense to you, because some of it isn't clear at all.

Post here when you're done editing!

[/size][/blockquote]

warehouse

straightfighter guest	Lillian Rose Jakob-dis. 12 Jan 7, 2011 22:03:32 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by straightfighter on Jan 7, 2011 22:03:32 GMT -5 I'm done

straightfighter guest	Lillian Rose Jakob-dis. 12 Jan 7, 2011 23:21:26 GMT -5 Select Post Deselect Post Link to Post Back to Top Post by straightfighter on Jan 7, 2011 23:21:26 GMT -5 what's wrong with the img?

Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy]
Retired Staff

6,346 POSTS
Pronouns: He/Him
last seen Nov 17, 2023 15:15:56 GMT -5

cozy, queer af

Lillian Rose Jakob-dis. 12 Jan 7, 2011 23:23:10 GMT -5

Post by Sunrise Rainier D2 // [Thundy] on Jan 7, 2011 23:23:10 GMT -5

You're on the right track, but I need you to still add more information and expand thoroughly on her personality, because right now we don't really know anything about that. The paragraphs need to be longer as well. Post here when you're done editing again.

[/size][/blockquote]